Solitude

This post was in Draft Mode. Time to let if post.

Why is solitude so important to me? I only learned it living in a foreign country - being all alone - isolated from anything event remotely familiar. Now I seek it, fervently, despite being surrounded by friends and loved ones.

Is it because I can listen to and challenge my inner self? Is it because Self needs a supportive but neutrally critical audience. Is it because Self has no agenda other than to hear and allow it to get sorted out.

When involved with others you are either sharing, giving or taking. Alone it is all a choice. I like choices. My choices. I love choosing when to be with someone better than being pulled by expectations.

My solitude desires may well sabotage the last chapters of my life, but I don't know how to be different.

Since January

Wow! My last post was signing up for Nutrisystem. Here we are in June. I've lost 25 lbs. and am back into my beloved Liz Claiborne clothing. And all the strapless dresses I've worn once here and there are letting me in with grace.

I'm biking! With a road bike! Like 15 miles at a shot.

Yes! It worked and I'm a pretty happy camper.

Not a resolution

I signed up for Nutrisystem today. Not because it's the new year and I need to change some things. I did it because I've known for a month I needed to tackle my weight A-GAIN and with willing my trousers to latch this morning.

Why Nutrisystem? Because I'm getting lazy in my old age. I don't want to think about what I have to gather and cook and have ready in case I get hungry. I want it done for me. So in a few days a box will arrive on my doorstep and I will pull out gallon sized baggies and bag up each day's worth of food and play meal roulette each day. A new way to approach it all.

I looked into them years ago. I couldn't afford the program. Now I can. Now it will probably save me money. I don't have to feed myself and my family. Just me.

I can pop four or five of the buggers in my suitcase and eat my way through - without having to seek out a grocery store - much. I should probably check into what I need to have in my suitcase for the extra, fresh stuff. Sometimes hotel access to real food is a challenge.

I love CarbBusters, but I just don't feel like working that hard. And once that fad (it's really good eating) passed, Health Magazine discontinued supporting it or it's app (which I purchased). They never corrected the measurement typos I let them know about. Onwards and upwards eh? Pun intended.

I used to be able to live on coffee and drop the weight. Can't do that any more either - my stomach grew vocal chords and my personality harbors a monster who magically appears whenever I get hungry.

Costa Rica in March? I'll figure that out in March.

Hello 2015!

A new year is here!

I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. Last year was a magnificent year with wonderful changes and very positive things happening. I can't (yet) imagine how this year can top it. Or match it.

At the beginning of the year I was very concerned about my role ending. In February I was sent for training in Florida on a different product. I asked if I could transfer to that office. Yes!

Bought a new house near the beach, sold the old house in a hot/cold state, bought a new car with the proceeds that complements the weather, have the adult kidlet and grandchild join me, living just down the road, met up with a friend from high school and have fallen very much in love with him.

There were some challenges, but for the most part, life was on the sunny side (in  more ways than one).

I'm working out the kinks in my personality. Learning to trust my own self worth. I'm dropping of the memories of old that had a gripping hold on my psyche. I'm becoming whole, myself, and open to others.

So 2015 is bringing me to me. That's a good thing.