Sunday, July 29, 2007

Kelly Said...

Kelly used to always say: I buy you books and I buy you books and still you pick your nose.

There's a lesson there.

Forever and Always

And in looking for the last set of lyrics I found this:


Song lyrics | Michael Buble - Everything lyrics

This is how I want to be loved forever and always. When, oh when, will my ship come in?

Music and Lyrics

I love this movie. I went to it by myself one afternoon and feel in love with it. It's just the sweetest thing. Two songs are running through my head today:


Song lyrics | Hugh Grant - Love Autopsy lyrics

and


Song lyrics | Hugh Grant And Haley Bennett - Way Back Into Love lyrics

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Chatterday

I'm getting things knocked off my list this weekend: Changing light bulbs, arranging the cat sitter, pre-departure hotel room, etc. I moved some stuff around the house. Finally took down my cache of birthday cards - deciding this year's had completed itself. I put a couple up on the bulletin board because they were so, well, me!

I walked with the pack and discovered that it does make a difference how the weighty stuff is loaded. At least people were friendlier today - last time I walked with my pack I was treated like I was homeless. People today were curious and asked questions.

A friend came to dinner last night and I cooked salmon and peach cobbler (from scratch). Reread the last half of that sentence - I cooked salmon and peach cobbler (from scratch). Go me!

I found a great bargin on a Cuisinart coffee maker. I think there's even a button it to mop the floor if I look hard enough. Talk about features - WOW!

I'm working on some trip details this afternoon. Tonight I'm heading to SLC for dinner. One of those special dress up events. Just have to decide whether to wear "strapless" or black, and then remember to take the blister bandaids off my toes. LOL!

Back to planning land - time's a tickin!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Spain

Have you been following my trip preparations? If not - drop in: http://mi-viaje-a-santiago.blogspot.com/

There's a link to the right if you want it in the future.

Buen Camino

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Aarrrrrrgggghhh!

That's all the creativity I have in me today!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Pioneer Day

Today, in Utah, is Pioneer Day. A special day for the LDS members and a state holiday. For me, I lean toward the state holiday persuasion.

I did my chores on foot this morning.

I cooked up a storm today! Since I no longer have a houseful of people, I've been doing the cheese and crackers or nachos, bachelorette thing. The weather had cooled down and I used the stove and oven for a few hours and cooked enough food to last me a couple of months (between cheese and crackers and nachos).

My friends and I moved around between clusters and groups and all decended at another friend's tonight with dinner. We did a pajama party and watched TV for awhile and then ambled back to our own abodes. Short, sweet, fun. (Her husband was envious - he was out of town).

A little haha. My phone rang at one point while I was at my friends. I looked around confused. Everyone was there! Who in the heck would be calling? It was one of my daughters.

What a lovely day!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

July

July is only about 2/3 done, but I have to take note that it's been good to me so far. The best month, I'd say, so far this year. And listen to this....next month I leave for Spain! (I like the fact I had to move it up a day!!) For those who have contributed to this upswing- and you know who you are: Thanks for the peace and happiness and being in my life - I appreciate you.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Sleeping Around

I think, since I haven't been traveling much for work lately, that I'm restless. I've taken to "sleeping around" as my sweet, wonderful, thoughtful, got-my-back-covered girlfriends have phrased it. Read on, please.

I have a big house. I have lots of living "areas". I am restless. I'm bored. In the past week I've slept on the living room couch, on the living room floor, in the "main" guest room, in my room. I still, should I desire to continue "sleeping around", have the second guest room, the empty bedroom, the yoga room and the family room to choose from. And then there's the loft and the hammock out back still if I have run out of options. And then, there are my friends' houses if I need to roam further.

Fortunately, I have a trip in August and then in September I'll get a different bed a night for 30-something days. That should cure me - right?

Testosterone Free Zone

We had girls night tonight: One newly married, three long single, one enganged, one missing due to fire reports in her area. NOTE: This was not a man-bash fest!!

We wined and dined talked about travel, talked about men (no bashing - honest), talked about work, talked about sex, talked about men, talked about men and sex (no bashing - honest), discussed rumors, quelled rumors, talked about men (no bashing - honest), talked about fairy tales, love, etc.

My friends here are so wonderful. We have couples, we have singles, we have girls, and we have guys. I love them all dearly and love the group I'm with. It is safe, signifigant, and restorative.

You go girls - I love you all so much!

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and
lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart
If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them
never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance
to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
I s the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Thank you Barry!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box

Remember as I tell this, that I woke up at 3:30 this morning (my team thought the clock was wrong on my laptop). At 5:30 I went for a walk (2 miles) . Then I went to work 9 hours. Then I walked to Spanish class (2.5 miles in 98 degree heat) and then walked home (2.5 miles and lesser heat).

I snacked before I left and I had fitness water and went through 1.5 litres of water total - but I'm tuckered. The hours, the miles, the heat - I'm more than tuckered, I'm wiped. So off I go to bed, way too early again.

Hasta manana muchachas!

Yawn!

Buenas Dias!

I let myself be totally fluid last night - no agenda, no chores, no exercise. I soul searched, I reminisced, I blogged, a couple of friends and my daughter called, I pampered my feet a bit and languidly went to bed WAY TOO EARLY! And here I am - I've been pretty much awake since 3:30.

I've done work email, read some work periodicals, done some home chores, fixed breakfast, had my coffee, etc. Now I'm just waiting for some hint of daylight and I'll go take a walk.

There goes the alarm clock - guess it's time to get up and get going. LOL! Have a great and wonderful and fabulous Miercoles!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Soul Mates

It's taken a village and a lifetime (to date) to get to my Spain trip. I've worked on it heavily the last few days. I'm overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude.....and sentimental to boot.

Awhile back I gave a copy of Soul Mates to a friend of mine who knows what her soul desires, but this life has not yet delivered. At some point, I'm sure, we'll share the highlighted passages, and knowing her well, they'll be marked in the same places. Having dragged out my copy from the fireplace mantle to double check the author's name (Thomas More), it's been teasing me into reading it again. I have a hard time READING the book because I have these hot pink highlights that I applied to it somewhere in the mid 90's.

"Soulmates" is an overused term these days. Almost like "love" with teenagers. My definition and attachment to it runs deep, very deep. I still believe, that a true relationship is truly effortless. Don't get me wrong - it isn't without attention to detail (oh this I've learned the hard way) and it requires full participation, but that being connected and communicating comes naturally.When connected, the giving isn't difficult, it is desired. Anyway...

Here's the quote that stirred my soul tonight: Anything done without imagination is impervious to soul, and yet it takes little effort to move from practicality to style.

The book goes on to delve deeper into what comprises friendships, relationships, love and eros. The book has remained a lighthouse in my life and in some cases the definitive guide of who might stay, who must go and who gets the permanent WELCOME mat.

My heart to those that truly understand me and the special that I am and honor the love that I have to give. Thank you.

Monday, July 16, 2007

I Believe

I believe in magic! I believe that believing in God, god, angels, fairy dust, fate, karma and love that life will come at you and it will be good. Let life happen folks! Love, live, laugh, give thanks. Go where you want to go, but don't forget how you got here. Cherish the taste of chocolate. Find out why you're here - today, right now. There's a reason and it's a lesson. Every thing important will surround you and care for you. Some days less than others. Some years less than most.

Don't lose faith with anything. Hold out hope. Trust. Know.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

That's Not How I Planned It!

As I was leaving the house today to meet my friend for lunch, I noticed one of my tires was low. Looking closer, I realized that the sidewall was split, like 3" split. I knew it was coming time to get new tires, at my last oil change the mechanic had let me know. But noticing it TODAY, had signifigance.

1). I hadn't planned on going out to lunch today. 2) By seeing it today I was able to drop my car off at the dealership and have her pick me up. 3) I did not risk driving on the highway in this heat and having a BLOWOUT! 4) My friend's husband, who I also work with, is out of town this week and she gave me his car to use.

So while I have to buy tires sooner than I'd hoped (I had hoped I could wait until Spring), it fell on the perfect day, with the perfect situation and all is well. This is how it goes with me. I'm so very blessed!

Closure

Ha ha! Not as heady as it sounds!! At coffee (our Sunday girls group) I finished the curtins for the yoga studio and finished my stuff sacks for my trip. The remainder of today is going to be Spanish (homework) and Spain (travel plans). One little happy detour, a friend just called and wanted to go do lunch. That on a Sunday, in Utah County, is a challenge, but we are up to it :).

I found out more information on Tomas the Knight (Templar) and how to find his refugio. This will be a "must stop here" on my trip. And met up with another female perigrino who will be traveling about the same time I will be. I'll write more about this on the Spain site later.

Happy Sunday one and all :-)

Friday, July 13, 2007

Llama Fest

We're all heading to the annual Llama Fest tomorrow night! Funny thing is half us was rounding up a group to go, while down the hall the other half was coming up the hall to see if we all wanted to go. It's a psychic fest too!

And...if you really want to hear the story again, I'll tell you about the strawberry llama kiss I got once in Augusta, GA (right after I got done walking to South Carolina).

Here's a little ditty Blaine found to help prepare us for the event:


http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

I Remember This

I am in a happy place!

I have had a fabulous week! Work, while challenging, has kept me on my toes, but not scrambing for sanity. My general being has been so at peace. I've felt restored, laughed buckets of giggles, and felt "hugged" all week.

A friend said to me..."We all support you on your trip, but you've rediscovered someone that understands ALL of it at a level we never will. How fortunate you are!!" And she's right.

I remember once being understood without ever speaking a word - never having to define, explain, request. Applauded, encouraged and prodded to simply be ME.

And this week - I've had that all again. I remember this.

The Top Ten Things To Learn In Spanish Class Before The Camino

Because my Camino is a reverent undertaking - I won't post this list there (well maybe - after I stop laughing). But....since this site is totally "me", this is appropriate to post here. From the person who knowest me best:

The Top Ten Things To Learn In Spanish Class Before The Camino

10. I need batteries.
9. Ten bucks for a Gatorade!? Gimme a beer.
8. Has the mud ever been this deep?
7. I don’t shower with men.
6. No, I’m sitting here waiting for the ice cream truck.
5. I didn’t know people drank from this fountain. It sure looked like a foot-soak to me.
4. Do you have earplugs? The Italian guy in the next bunk is snoring.
3. Touch my boobs or ass again and I SWEAR I’ll slay you in the Name of Jesus.
2. That smell isn’t the pasture, it’s the socks dangling from my pack.
And the number one phrase to learn in Spanish:
1. Give me all the M&M’s in the store or your children will go blind and get leprosy.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Beautiful Evening

I worked on my trip to Spain tonight. I sat on the patio all evening, typing, researching, and nursing a couple of glasses of wine. I stayed out there until the very last rays of today's light faded. It was wonderful and restorative.

Tambien

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Sushi Tuesday

A local Sushi restaurant runs a special on Tuesday. Our group gets bigger and bigger every week. It started with two of us, and then two twos of us - today our group was five. It's just a given if it's Tuesday it must be Sushi!

My Good Fortune Does Not Quit

I recieved a call today from Esperanza. They are having "stragglers" teams next year. I'm in.

Here's what D had to say: "Building a house in Mexico?......So you're gonna shred your feet in Spain, then your hands a year later in Mexico? I do remember your burger-ized hands from the last time. (Funny he should remember that - because I don't - maybe like birthing a baby - you forget the labor???).

I LOVE MY LIFE!

Monday, July 09, 2007

House Stuff

Finally! The table and chairs have been assembled and finally, I took pictures of the WALL!

Table and Chairs - Louise came over tonight to help me. God Bless IKEA - it was simple as pie and I could have done it alone. But....it was way fun with two to assemble. Then Diana called and asked if she and Blaine could join us. Heck, yeah - the more the merrier. Blaine held stuff and torqued a couple of obstinate bolts. What a blast. And here's what I have now :)

Now - for THE WALL. Remember this started out as a New Years weekend project. And turned almost into a remodel. Here is the fruit of my efforts.
Several wonderful things happened with this project. One it's 99% done. I did it myself. Louise and Randi (her idea in the first place) both told me how to do it and left me to learn. It's great fun (loaded with Spanish right now). My grandson loves it. This was my very first ever household project. (My last house I didn't do a thing to it.)

It still doesn't have the chair rail, but one of these days, when I don't have a thousand things going on and have an extra set of arms around again - it will be done.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Wacky Wonderful Weekend

What a neat and wonderful weekend. I started several things and almost finished some. Nothing that I'd hoped to accomplish did I complete - but it didn't really matter. I hiked 18 miles, spent lots of time with friends and exchanged several emails with the one person in the world that knows me best. I'd say that's pretty darn wonderful. :)

Esperanza

A couple of decades ago, my husband and I, and a bunch of our church teens took off to Tijuana to help build homes. The program is much different than Habitat for Humanity. It was the hardest 10 days of labor I have ever done and the most enriching time of my life. I have unsuccessfuly searched the web a few times - trying to locate the sponsoring group.

Today I found them:

http://www.esperanzainternational.org/partners/mexico.asp

I'm planning my adventures for next year. This is a fabulous way to go and give back at the same time. I've contacted them to find out as a sigular volunteer (vs a church group), how I can schedule my time.

Yes hauling rocks (not gravel) to make cement, digging foundations with a shovel, bending rebar with a tool (not a machine) and oiling roof tile molds (used motor oil), hefting cinderblocks, is a life-changing experience. I distinctly remember the water conservation awareness chant: if its yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down. And, there are still those little angels waiting for me in that store.

I must go back. I must do it again. How very, very, very wonderful it would be, again.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

The Last Tears

I don't have to wonder or calculate or guess. I understand now. I'll be OK. Thanks for your candor.

Green Jello

Green Jello has the highest consumption per capita in Utah. The only way I'm a green Jello fan is with my mother's recipe which has grated cucumber in it. A little sauce is put on top that's make of mayo and horseradish. It's yummy and very much a summer icon for me.

The weather's been hot, the nostalgia factor high, and by golly there's green Jello with cucumber chilling in my refrigerator as I type.

7.7.07

All the headlines are asking if this will be my lucky day. Apparently not.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Teri's All Nighter

7:30 pm -Plan to walk to Starbucks - ended up making coffee at home.

9:00 pm - Caffeine kicks in.

10:00 pm - Realize the curtin rod that had previously been up in the room was about 7 inches too short for the window (how did that work?). Head to Walmart. Rocking place on a Friday night.

I can tell I'm aging when the most excitement I had during my all-nighter was reading the stocker's (no, not stalker) T-shirt at Walmart: I (heart) Hot Moms. Well I'm a mom and the air was still a toasty 90-something. Also pick up green jello, grated cheese and blackberries.

10:45 ish - blogged some.

11:45 - Got the rod up. Think I tweaked a drill bit a little, but that's replaceable. At some point someone will teach me the finer points of drilling. For now, don't forget, I have a drill.

12:00 - Cats are blocking stairs in an attempt to make me go to bed.

12:05 - Tried to remember which room has my sewing machine. Then tried to remember how to set it up. (Sorry Mom.) Then tried to justify why I was going to sew with thread that didn't match. (Sorry Mom.)

12:15 - Measured rod, cut the fabric.

12:30 - Set up machine, couldn't find part, found part, managed to get the needle threaded despite being mid-40's. Wondered how my Mother made curtins for a living.

1:00 - Not sewing correctly. Give up. Cats cheer. Go to bed.

Friday

I had a really lovely week, mostly. Actually, in looking back it was a bit of a roller coaster, but still it mostly came out on top

The news about Mike rocked my world at the beginning of the week. But I was pleased that I had had an opportunity to express my gratitude a few months back, when I was first told the news of his illness. This week I've been in touch with many lost colleagues due to Mike's passing - bittersweet. I connected with "D" again - always a comfort zone for me. I didn't get to go to Seattle this year for the 4th - but I have most and I can always plan to go again next year. I'm not at my family reunion this weekend and I'll miss seeing my brother from Florida. I had dinner at a friend's this week - always a treat. I laid in the hammock and just "was". I saw Ratatouille with a passel of friends. And while I thought tomorrow morning was going to be a treat - it'll be just another Saturday. I've had a great deal of time alone to practice my Spanish - if the cat's could only speak. And I'm reading the strangest book - Winkie. Oh and....the nifty little DVD player that I ordered with my Mariott points arrived today. My iPod will dock in it and play the videos and my pictures on a biger screen. Gotta love traveling for work. I'm about to pull an all nighter and finish my yoga room.

So there you have it - a week of blog gone wild.

Ratatouille

What a cutie movie! I can't wait until it comes out on video. I love Pixar movies - they never fail to amuse.

Teddy Bear

I found my long lost teddy bear!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Incredible Peace

I am incredibly at peace today.

The Vortex of Nostalgia

I wish I could diagram my thought patterns the last few days and especially today. I'm going to try. Imagine little Jeffrey from Family Circus wandering all over the entry :)

Jules was here last week - I worked with her at the Times - Seattle. She moved to Denver. Much of my family is in Denver - they all know her. She met all my Utah family. We both worked with Pat - he's part of the Utah family now. Mike died last week. Julie, Pat and I all worked for Mike (in fact all of our guest book entries are stacked up on top of each other). From other guest book entries I've been in touch with three people I used to work with in Seattle. It's the 4th and I usually am in Washington on this day hanging out at Lenny's house. Lenny and I were close friends when I worked in New Media at the Times (my 2nd hire back at The Times, by Mike). I usually see about half a dozen Timer's from one era or the other at this event. I'm usually hiking in the Olympics this week too :( I caught up with Dwight this week - he knows all these Seattle people too and most of the Denver family.This exchange opened up a flood of memories back to 1983-1984. He knew Robert and Ken and he knew my mother. He's my kids' Godfather. He was in and out and very in and very out of my life for nearly a quarter of a century now. He was Denver, Seattle, San Francisco, Amsterdam, LA, Las Vegas, Santa Barbara, Fatima, Portugal. He's the beach on Christmas, cribbage in Post Alley, Nintendo at midnight, mid-flight proposals, Trader Joe's, the guitar-playing skater at Santa Monica beach, "the stork", Snug Harbor and Issey Miyake. And always and still today - my cheerleader!

It really makes me wonder if there's a big yellow bus gunning for me today. My life seems to be flashing before my eyes. But it goes back to a theme I often blog - I am so happy to be me. And I'm grateful to all the people who participated in that effort. I'm glad for a day like today where I can sit in my chair, cover a thousand miles of time, and not lift a toe.

July 4th

I appreciate my country and my independence. Thanks to all who have made it so.

Interesting mood this morning. I brooded a little - I'm not in Seattle. I'm almost ALWAYS in Seattle on the 4th. It felt weird not getting on an airplane after work last night. Next year the holiday is on Thursday and I'll be there - I'll make it so. Have fun my dear friends. I'll miss seeing you again.

I went to my friend's last night for dinner, another bunch came up (everyone wants to play with her new kittens). It was just weird knowing the date (4th of July) and seeing these people. Funny how traditions form, isn't it? And too....since I moved from Payson, I dropped the 4th of July party I'd always had. I only moved 20 miles.

It's still nice out this morning. I'm blogging on the patio. Next choice - walk to store or do some work work. I can work work inside when it's hot. I don't want to work today. But, if I do, then I don't have to this weekend. I need to be working on my Spanish - my next class starts next week. Kinda hard to practice well when the cats don't talk back. They do listen well though. The blackboard wall has been a help - I have today is, yesterday was, tomorrow will be type stuff up there and then the word/phrase for today.

Because of Mike's death, several of the people from the Seattle Times have been connecting again. It's nice to see how those I worked with and those that worked for me are all faring. Funny how time spreads people across the planet.

We sat on my friend's porch last night until very late. We could hear the deer clomping around her property. When I'm up there, I often encounter one or two hanging out near my car when I leave. We had a skunk stoll by too. And gratefully the bears her neighbors have seen have been relocated. I love the drive home on summer nights from there. Top down, mountain air, iPod blasting - a beautiful free feeling.

OK - that's my sensory download for today...time to get on with being off.

Enjoy your freedom today.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Gotta Love Chocolate

Every now and then I take an inventory of myself. Where I've been, where I'm going, what paths I'm charting next. It isn't always viajar (travel) it is often just trying to make sure I'm staying on course to be the right "Teri".

In preparing for my Spain trip, I often think of those who dragged me through forests and up mountains and made me get my passport without knowing where it (or me) was going.

I sent off a "thanks" for the latter the other day. Here's part of the response:

"Can't take credit for your wanderlust. That'd be like me taking credit for introducing your taste buds to chocolate simply because I shared a memorable piece of it with you, i.e. it was within you all the while."

Well, OK, fine then, be that way: Thanks for the BOX of chocolates!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Mike

My former boss passed away last week. His obit was well written - it reflected his contribution to the industry and to our lives. From the jobs I had been doing in Classifieds, he drew me in to management at the Seattle Times - the youngest management hire ever.

Thanks to him, I knew I could manage, and manage well at any paper, in any locale I chose to work in.

Thank you Mike. Peace be with you. You will be missed.

Remember Dodge Ball or Red Rover?

I used to be picked last. Sometimes I still am. Sometimes I'm first. The cool thing is...

The firsts I'm picked for now are the things that count. The things I'm not - may or may not be signifigant on any given day. And if I'm picked last too many times by your team....

Watch the firsts.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Grin

Nearly 20 years ago, "D" gave me a picture of him and his fish with the Sharpie caption: "Fish or cut bait! " I still have that picture. I got the message. Funny isn't it, how so many things he did and said are with me today? And as he also used to say: shouldacouldawoulda.

I have his brick in my pack. I won't carry it to SdC, but I will use it to get ready. Who woulda known it would be training wheels for so many "life" opportunities?

I wouldn't have my gossamer wings without him.

Just One More Thing

I've loved this song. It is performed (and perhaps written) by Sara Groves. A customer took me to her concert one time and then followed up with her CD as a gift. She's a "gospel" singer, (stay with me here), but more importantly she's hit life's little curve balls on the head and sings about them. This song rattles around in my head often. I try to use it as a guide for my behavior and keep its theme on my "want" list.

There's always just one more thing • There's always another task • There's always I just have one more small favor to ask • And everything is urgent and everything is now • I wonder what would really happen if I stopped somehow • • I'll be there in a minute • Just a few places to go • You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown • And everything is important • But everything is not • At the end of your life your relationships are all you're got • • And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say • I've got something better to do • And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say • Nothing will come between me and you • Not even one more thing • • There will never be an end to • The request upon your time • It's your place to stand up and tell the world • You've got to rest awhile • And everything is important • But everything is not • At the end of your life your relationships are all you've got • • And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say • I've got something better to do • And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say • Nothing will come between me and you • Not even one more thing • •

To hear it:

http://www.saragroves.com/lyrics/allrighthere/justonemorething.asp

Face It

Face it Teri.

No matter how hard you wish, how much you hope, how often you pray, how badly you think you want it, or how close you think you are - it ain't gonna happen.

You know this - now run with it.