Thankful

I have so many people who love me. Last night I couldn't turn out the light and I couldn't contain the tears or control the sobs. That was round three for the day and I needed to rest so I could work today. My oldest cradled me on the phone until I was ready to sleep. Today a friend offered me her place and companionship in an attempt to hold the grief at bay for a day. A daily hug from a co-worker - where I can rest my head for a moment.

I will work through it - I won't pretend it doesn't matter or disrespect it.

While feeling this way is undesirably miserable (SUCKS), I also find a little piece of joy (REACHING). It validates that it is a loss, that my devotion was real and that I still had it in me to love and care and fight. I thought that part of me died with Robert.

So here's to pain, here's to love, here' s to hope. As Barry crones..."'Cause feeling pain's a hard way to know you're still alive, but someday someone will make you glad you survived."

Pout