This post was in Draft Mode. Time to let if post.
Why is solitude so important to me? I only learned it living in a foreign country - being all alone - isolated from anything event remotely familiar. Now I seek it, fervently, despite being surrounded by friends and loved ones.
Is it because I can listen to and challenge my inner self? Is it because Self needs a supportive but neutrally critical audience. Is it because Self has no agenda other than to hear and allow it to get sorted out.
When involved with others you are either sharing, giving or taking. Alone it is all a choice. I like choices. My choices. I love choosing when to be with someone better than being pulled by expectations.
My solitude desires may well sabotage the last chapters of my life, but I don't know how to be different.