Sunday, December 30, 2007

Potter in the Pen

My daughter just left a job at a penitentary. She was in a teaching role and often interacted with the inmates. She was describing tonight about the Harry Potter movie marathon she orchestrated before leaving her position.

She said one of the inmates commented: "Bet the author never thought a bunch of inmates would be sitting around watching the movies."

And the mother of the person sitting with those inmates (me) responded: "Bet this mom never thought her daughter would be sitting around watching Harry Potter with a bunch of inmates either!"

I'm so proud of her!

Series Cancelled

Well, apparently my prime time series has been cancelled. Just had the pilot and a couple of episodes. I don't seem to be on the tv listing any longer.

That's OK. People's viewing habits change and channel surfing doesn't seem to fit me.

Not sure if I was upstaged by a gameshow or the presidential debates.

Time for a commercial break.

The Wall

The Wall is DONE!

July, May, May, May, May, February.

In the beginning there was a WALL.

Rolling The Credits on 2007

I went for a walk today. I missed the really ferocious snow storm part, but I was able to walk while the wind was drifting the snow and the sky teased that it might get blue.

Bocelli played in my ear and I recalled Pavarotti blaring from the stereo while in the bar/alburgue in Lorca. I longed to be there again, speaking Spanglish with Jose. I remember hearing of Pavarotti's death on the Spanish equivalent of CNN early one morning while drinking my very first Cola Cao. I thik Jorge and Anna were there - must have been in Najera.

I swang in the swing at the park, noticing that I'd never felt the sensation of a snow drift beneath my feet when kicking off. I remembered my night of swinging there last year. Swinging in a snow storm conjures joy. Tesh played Winter Song for me.

I let the tears roll - for all the sad and all the great and all the resolve I have to make 2008 another blockbuster.

All Screwed Up

Me, the right as rain sleeper, is wide awake. I was so tired that I came to bed early. Then I dozed off with the lights on. Then, with lights off, I watched a movie - all of it (I can't do that on a NORMAL day), and then I was WIDE awake.

And here I am, surfing, blogging and waiting to be overcome with my sleepy.

My Valentine Monologue - v5


The Notebook

....or anything Nicholas Spark writes. He's the master of capturing true love in print.

Soul Mates

Saturday, December 29, 2007

My Valentine Monologue - v4


When Harry Met Sally
The American President
Music and Lyrics - and the soundtrack
One Fine Day - and the soundtrack
Lake House - and the soundtrack
Under The Tuscan Sun
Love Actually
Sleepless In Seattle
The Bodyguard - and the soundtrack

Time Out

Tonight is Time Out for Teri.


I'm missing a party, ignoring my family, in PJ's, in hiding. Ahhh.

Friday, December 28, 2007

My Valentine Monologue - v3

I Love You

The two most profound times of hearing this were from the two men that I've loved that I didn't marry. Irony in play I'm sure. (Not that my husband's didn't make bells and whistles go off - they did too.)

Hearing D say this to me for the first time, after knowing him for nearly 15 years, was just amazing. I wasn't sure I'd really heard it. And yet, I knew, it had been on his lips for a long, long, long time.

The most amazing, and still startling for me to think about it, was when SweetStuff and I first exchanged the sentiment. Blurted? We were handing off a glass or something and both said it to each other at the very same time. This wasn't one of those staring into each other's eyes and it rolling out - it came out as easy and normal sounding as saying "thank you". And we both picked the same exact instant to have it "pop" out. We then stared at each other, laughed a lot (I think he snorted), and realized the dynamic had instantly changed...but on very equal footing.

I'm a lucky girl - that's for sure.

My Valentine Monologue - v2

Terms of Endearment

Mom - I wear this one proudly. I birthed two and five claim me. I'm honored and privileged to be so loved.

My current favorite is Butthead - SweetStuff and I used (and still use) it to indicate the threshold of acceptability has been hit. It saves us from using the word asshole and bitch - truly.

My next favorite is the one we girls use to protect our interests in regards to men - Rat Bastard. When this is used it means "the guy" has screwed up. Sometimes they don't know they screwed up - but none the less in the eyes of the girls club - they did.

Sweetie - Only a handful of people have (or can or do) use this as my moniker.

Tear Bear - One

T - One

My Valentine Monologue - v1

Halloween > Christmas
Christmas > Valentine's Day

And somehow Thanksgiving and New Years still happen while overshadowed by the highly profitable gimme holidays. (I don't have turkey socks, nor do I have New Years socks and February 15, I'll don my St. Patrick's day socks).

This is not a diatribe about Valentine's Day. Rather it is a recollection and collection of joys and observations.

I don't recall a "bad" Valentine's day. I do recall solo holidays. On these, the girls and/or girlfriends have rallied to fill the testostrone void. And Im' sure there are those years, classified as "less memorable" that have fallen by the wayside of my ever elevating count of years on this planet.

I'm all for the "event" rather than the Kay, Jared, or Tom Shane approach. For me the time with my "significant other" and what memories we create is what I like. Don't get me wrong - jewelry is important to me - but I'm more impressed when it is attached to its own memorable event and not this commercial one.

Memorable: 1980 or '83 - A big cardboard sheep with "Ewe's not fat, ewe's just fluffy" Sharpie'd on it. (I was very pregnant - but can't remember which kidlet), Hershey Kisses and Rhubarb Pie - circa 1985. You light up my life - circa 1986 and 2007.

I've loved four men in my life. And in reading what I just wrote, there's one over the top, outstanding Valentine's day for each. How appropriate.

Gender Bias?

First gels and liquids and now batteries.

From the AP today: WASHINGTON - To help reduce the risk of fires, air travelers will no longer be able to pack loose lithium batteries in checked luggage beginning Jan. 1, the Transportation Department said Friday. Passengers can still check baggage with lithium batteries if they are installed in electronic devices, such as cameras, cell phones and laptop computers. If packed in plastic bags, batteries may be in carry-on baggage. The limit is two batteries per passenger.

Shampoo, hair product, mascara, lipstick and now batteries. Messed and stressed is the new travel vogue.


I wanted to see Transformers when it was in the movie theater. There's something wrong about a 40 something woman going to see this movie alone. So....the perfect setting would then be......

How else but with a seven year old sitting on your head? Or while babysitting? (More literally translated Grandma sitting on the baby in the middle of the living room floor.) He farted on my lap and I burped in his face. He told his mom I'm a better burper than he is. I win!!

We had a blast and it is a fabulous movie.

Now You See Him, Now You Don't

Awhile back I posted about all my Houdini's. I was thinking about this today. A couple of things stirred this again...but it came into focus again last night when a man I dated a couple of years ago came on line and was chatting with me. He reminded me of his Houdini-ness.

Again...the repeating the all too familiar words of how wonderful I was, hoping that I wasn't alone, etc., etc. I hear this a lot.

Frustrated with the "Groundhog Day" performances, I asked him what his "why" was.

My national anthem repeated: I'm great, I'm wonderful, previous woman screwed him over and couldn't trust, wouldn't get close, didn't want to get hurt again, blah, blah, blah.

If I'm so great and I'm so wonderful, where's the damned parade? And if the previous lot of women were so f&%$*&# horrible to them, again, where's my damned parade?

And if I start adopting generalizations about men? Where is that going to take us all? Just down the dum dum path with no chance of a yellow brick road.

For God's sake - get over it, get on with it, come to the present and let some freaking happiness in. And for the record: Not every woman that wanders into your life is out to take you out nor tie you down. Sometimes you're just nice company AND somtimes love just happens. Go with the freaking flow.

Diatribe complete.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas Kitchen

I decided I wanted to try to make Honey Walnut Chicken for Christmas. Wow - the effort and result were worthy of the goose and turkey traditions. It took some work, but it was worth the time, the hot grease blister and the cleanup efforts.

I also made Fried Rice from a recipe (always have done it by the seat of my pants before).

Both recipes I got from the Internet, both I'm going to adjust just a little (there's GOT to be an easier way on the shrimp). We were pretty close to Nirvana though.

During dinner my daughter and I were talking about the effort. I said it would be a good "couples meal" to cook - all the effort and coordintion and all. She agreed the food was great, but also offered this: "Yeah, but sometimes it's better to just order it, have it delivered and get naked."

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The Month of Christmas

I have had the nicest of December's. Lots of Christmas cheer shared all month long. Christmas was just absolutely wonderful.

My Christmas Story

I was telling my friend last night that I wanted my Grandson to at least sing Happy Birthday Baby Jesus this morning so he has a little foundation on why we're exchaning gifts. More than just the Santa syndrome, less than my belief system - something spiritual for the season.

As soon as I said it, the tree topper, which can, but doesn't blink, began to blink. It is a white round topper with white lights. In the center of the open circle is a tiny angel (of course) with a tiny trumpet.

I asked my friend if I'd just missed it blinking before. She said no. I will tell you it never has - I'm not in to the blinking Christmas light thing.

I have been blessed with my own Christmas Story.

Merry Christmas!

A friend at work gave me the gift of these words this year. One slip of paper for each day in December leading to Christmas. I'm re-gifting (Dave's words) to you.

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. --Roy L. Smith

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most. --Ruth Carter Stapleton

There is magic in the very name of Christmas! --Charles Dickens

A little smile, a word of cheer, a bit of love from someone near. A little gift from one held dear, best wishes for the coming year. These make a Merry Christmas. --John Greenleaf Whittier

Christmas is not a date, it is a state of mind. --Mary Ellen Chase

For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. --Luke

Christmas is not in tinsel and lights and outward show. The secret lies in an inner glow. It's lighting a fire inside the hert. Goodwill and joy a vital part. It's higher thoughts and a great plan. It's a glorious dream in the soul of man. --Wilfred A. Peterson (The Art of Living)

May Christmas peace fill all the land with Children walking hand in hand and may the joy of Christmas light sparkle in their eyes tonight. -- Cynthia Holt Cummings

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. -- Harlan Miller

Believe in the wonder and the magic that is Christmas. --Lisi Martin

Joy is not in things, it is in US. -- Benjamin Franklin

Love came down at Christmas; Love all lovely, Love divine; Love was born at Christmas. Stars and angels gave the sign. --Christina Rossetti

Christmas is a word that contains everything that makes us smile. -- Author Unknown

If you can't see Christmas in the face of a child, you haven't been looking. -- Unknown

One of the msot glorious messes in the world is the mess cretead in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. --Andy Rooney

Christmas is not just a day, an event to be obeserved and speedily forgotten. It is a spirit which should permeate every part of our lives.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. --Norman Vincent Peale

All Hearts come home for Christmas--Unknown

Family traditions, especailly at Christmas, nourish the hearts of children and provide precious memories for us all.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched -- but are felt in the heart.
--Helen Keller

Christmas Gift Suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customers, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. -- Oren ArnoldChristmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.
--Larry Wilde

So remember while December brings the only Christmas day, in the year let there be Christmas in the things you do and say.
-- Anonymous

One perfect star to touch the night with warmth and promise shining bright.
One perfect light to reach the earth and show mankind the Christ Child's birth.
One perfect love to lead the way to peace and hope for us today.
One perfect sign for all to see. One Savior for eternity.
--Author Unknown

Somehow, not only at Christmas, but all year long through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you.
--John Greenleaf Whittier

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; it makes no noise at all, but softly gives itself away; while quite unselfish it grows small.
--Eva K. Logue

When you ask God for a gift, be thankful if He sends not diamonds, pearls and riches, but the love of real true friends.
--Helen Steiner Rice

God grant us Hope and Faith and Love
for a world grown cynically cold, hungry for power and geeedy for gold.
Faith to believe when within and without. There's a nameless fear in a world of doubt.
Love that is bigger than race or creed, to cover the world and fulfill each need.
God, grant these gifts to all troubled hearts as the old year ends and a new year starts.
--Helen Steiner Rice

This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift, the Christ.
-- Fank McKibben

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is HOPE; The Spirit of Christmas which is PEACE; and the heart of Christmas which is LOVE.
-- Ada V. Hendrick

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Angel

My friend stayed at my house this weekend. After another trip to the ER, she's still not able to stay by herself. We do really well together so it has been a privilege rather than a bother. Tonight though, I was tired. I've worried, I've worked, I've Christmas prepped, I've had things to do for myself. I'm spent. I was out of ideas for dinner tonight - although the pantry and fridge are full.

And then, a pickup pulls up in the driveway. Out pops Dave with a huge holiday bag. Inside was a little piece of heaven...a full holiday dinner for the four of us: weanies in BBQ sauce, crackers, salmon, prime rib, buffalo roast, mashed potatoes, au jus, bread (homemade, I'll guess), baked beans, horse radish, homemade chocolate chip cookies, clementines, and two Utah truffles. And a whole lot relief for me. I'm (again) touched and appreciative.

Not only was it nice to catch a few minutes with him during the Holiday rush of families and friends, he got a chance to meet another work friend who had stopped by to check in.

How wonderful to be able to give AND receive. I feel very special.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Christmas Camino Blues

The emails began to be quiet for awhile. They have ramped up again in the last week or so. The content, most likely holiday emotions driven, is wistful and longing. Many desperately want to convene again - somewhere, somehow. Most want to bring the Camino back in the forefront of our daily existance (it took years to plan and "merely" a month to complete). We seek the companionship we quickly matured on the trail - the secrets, the yearnings, the trust, even the exhaustion.

Joop is going to visit Siggy and Harald next month and will visit Marlena soon. I am envious and long to join them. I promised Juergen I would call over Christmas. Zammy, I remembered to send Chanukkah greetings. Denise is traveling. I need to check on Aliche and Dominique. And I can't forget Javier - I need to message his daughter again.

These people enhanced my year and I too, miss them deeply. And, I want to walk again too.

Simply Irresistable!

These quotes were on my Google homepage today:

The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not. - Eric Hoffer

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? - Henry Ward Beecher

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - Dave Barry

A good date in quotable land.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dinner Is Served

I tried a new recipe tonight...cheese ravioli with toasted walnuts. I got the recipe from Real Simple. I paired it with La Vielle Ferme, Recolte 2005 with a side of sauted spinach with garlic. Oh my oh yum. Go me.

Let There Be Peace On Earth

As the song says:

Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me...

I'm all for the peace thing. I would describe myself as an advocate and promoter of peace for everyone, everywhere.,2933,317484,00.html

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


My friend bought some Midol the other day. Before SHE bought it, SHE read the package.

Under Warnings SHE read:
Ask a doctor before use if you have:
• glaucoma

• difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland

• a breathing problem such as emphysema or chronic bronchitis


Snow Tires

I finally got my snow tires on. This has become quite the chore for me. Last year, both winter and spring I had to haul my own tires to the station to get them changed out. OK - not a big deal when you have a car-car or a pickup. But when you drive a Barbie car - the tires are regular tire sized, but nothing else is - such as trunk space.

The configurations for transport consist either of putting the top down and bungy cording the tires to the "roll bar"/trunk and stacking up the tires in the seats. Or stacking up the tires in the seats with the top up, and hoping the mile or so I need to travel that I don't have to look out the right side window. Or multiple trips back and forth.

Anyway - the kidlet is home and the trunk I bought her is big. That and dinner out gets me a drop off and a ride back.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Breakfast Burritos

Preface - I love Randi's breakfast burritos - mine are decidedly different - but oh this was good. And my kidlet decided I have evolved in the kitchen during the last year. (Thanks to Louise, SweetStuff and some time).

Chopped Onions - about 1/2 a cup
Sliced Mushrooms - about a 1/2 to 3/4 cup
A little more than a handful of frozen TaterTots - Slightly thawed and gently broken up
2 Ham Slices - chopped, outer skin discarded
4 Eggs - beaten with a drizzle of milk added
Pepper (the ham provided enough salt for us)
Grated Cheddar Cheese
3 Large Tortillas

Melt butter, cook onions, add mushrooms. When cooked, add the TaterTots and ham. Heat through. Put in bowl and put a plate on top to keep warm.
Melt a little more butter, cook eggs, scrambling to med sized pieces
Heat tortilla slightly in microwave. Sprinkle tortilla with grated cheese, melt slightly in microwave again.
Place a large serving spoonful of vegetable/ham mixture and a large spoonful of the scrambled eggs, and grind some pepper on to the tortilla, roll up like a baby blanket and enjoy!

Boys vs. B.O.B.

Rated R++

There is some folly in having your adult daughter living with you. You really learn what you taught that got through their thick flouncy pointed little heads during their childhood and adolescence.

My daughter and I watched half a movie (we both got IMs and calls that eventually distracted us), did our respective Christmas cards (mine voted most cool). She tried to stick her stinky feet under my nose.

We also got into a debate on whether real men or B.O.Bs were the best way to feel fulfilled in this life. Me, I prefer real men. They bring so much more to the party - the permanent imprint of cologne, coffee in the morning, touch, cuddles, passionate kisses. B.O.B is efficient, hopefully doesn't smell, and takes direction well.

B.O.B. requires little attention and won't walk out the door. Boys cling, boys flee, boys elate you, boys break you.

I'll accept the odds to experience the heat, touch and the scent for my playdate - thank you very much.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Better Than MY Blog:

Makes You Laugh (a lot)!

Not Like The First Christmas

We received gifts from :( (the frown is part of the logo). Check these lovelies out:

Turn that frown around :)

Reindeer Games

You Are Cupid

A total romantic, you're always crushing on a new reindeer.

Why You're Naughty: You've caused so much drama, all the reindeers aren't speaking to each other.

Why You're Nice: You have a knack for playing matchmaker. You even hooked Rudolph up!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmas in My Hood

Tis the Season for The Gifts to circulate in my neighborhood.

I see the cars drive up the street and stop house by house, stopping for just a few minutes and moving on. It's interesting to see how they stop on the left and stop on the right. Mine will be skipped. It always is.

One neighbor, one, has really ever really paid any attention to me.

A couple stop by now and again, but I don't even know their names, or where they live. There's always a tie to the church when they stop by. I don't think their interest is in me, as they always attempt to commiserate about my singleness or job. I feel like it is always a campaign for my membership and not my friendship.

Fortunately, it's only where I live. Not the rest of my friends or co-workers. In fact there, it is quite the opposite. Must just be the particular 'hood.


I don't tend to dwell on why things happened, but more on what happened around whatever happened.

There is no way to justify someone getting sick, dying, hurt or losing a loved one. One could go crazy trying to back track, assign blame to individuals, challenge God, fate, Karma, etc.

But what I always marvel at is the the actions and activities surrounding crisis. There are a dozen miracles and graces that appear with every tragedy or incident.


Curtis - we all miss him, Karen especially. She was with him as soon as she could, he got his blessing, we all came together, and Karen taught us grace, friendship and strength at the tenderest point in time. It also reminded us to be constantly kind (as he was) to our co-workers and friends - as we don't know when it will be our time to go.

Ray - I'm sorry he's gone - I wish I'd known him better. He died the day I began my camino, the hospitalerios in Granon took me in, I met some exceptional poeple that day, and I was still able to attend his memorial when I returned. I heard the entire town talking about how kind he was and how many lives he'd touched. I met family I'd never met before.

Louise - I did not feel well on Thursday night and still not very well on Friday. I chose to stay home. Had I been at work when she took ill, I would have been in a customer meeting that would have been difficult to extract myself from. I don't believe, being as close to her as I am, that I would have been sane waiting or going with her in the ambulance. Blaine and Matthew found her, without reason to be where she was. Blaine went in the ambulance, Matthew took her phone and called me and then came and got me. By being home, I was two miles from the hospital. A series of calls ensued to make sure everyone that needed to know was contacted. Soon her room was filled with all of us. The hospital let us all stay. We think the worst is over, but the gift of this incident.... she knows she's very loved and I know if my turn comes around - I won't be alone either.

So many graces come to us, not from the sadness or pain we inevitibly encounter, but from what we take from it.

Teri's Christmas Carol

We had our byLOGICAL Family Christmas Party last night. Come join the fun....

Friday, December 14, 2007

My Most Unusual Week

I think this has been the most unusual week I have ever been through.
Sunday: Classic - walked through the snow, did my craft thing with Randi, baked for the cookie exchange.
Monday: Date - rose, dinner, Christmas musical, conversation - very nice. Was asked for another date.
Tuesday: Work, work, work. Chat, chat, chat
Wednesday: Received email that for personal reasons (I won't share here), we won't be dating any more.
Thursday: Worked while not feeling well - was in bed by 6pm.
Friday: Woke up, raised head, room proceeded to spin, called office - chose to stay home. Much later, got up, ate a slice of toast, went back to bed. Slept until I heard the phone ring and Matt said Louise was leaving work in an ambulance and Blaine was riding with her.

Fortunately the hospital is within a couple of miles of my house. Matt picked me up (remember dizzy this morning?) and took me over. At one point there were I think, 6-7 of us packed into her ER room.....all relatives, of course. They still don't know the cause - but she's here tonight so if we need a repeat performance, we can just go. A bunch of people hung around here off and on today too, making sure we were both OK.

And..tomorrow we'd all planned our gift exchange and it's at my house, so I needed to do some of my cooking tonight. There was so much going on that my kitchen became a wreck. I just got it cleaned up.

I also got a call from my girlfriend in Oregon and my daughter tonight. So many people needed me today. Everyone scooped me up too so I could be with Louise and then they all took such good care of both of us.

Sweet stuff also IMed a few times today - checking in on us both.

I Nyquilled it and I'm fading fast. Tomorrow is going to be another long day.

Then my friend called from Denver,

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Cookie Exchange

We had our first annual Holiday Cookie Exchange at work today. I had suggested it and it was a great hit.

Everyone brings one or two kinds of homemade or speciality cookies or candies. They are displayed on a table. All the "bringers" then go around the table collecting a cookie or two from each plate. Then, taking a box, basket or wheelbarrow, everyone goes around the table until all the goodies are gone from the table.

The end result is a box full of various cookies that make it look like they spent the entire holiday in the kitchen cooking. The variety is amazing and tall the treats are fabulous!

An encore is planned for next year.

Remind Me Again Why I Need A Man:

LOL - this was sent to me by my Librarian friend today :

REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I NEED A MAN: Claudia Carroll: Harper Collins: Fiction: 374 pages

On paper, Amelia Lockwood, 37, seems to have it all—a great career as a television producer and great friends in married Caroline, bitter Rachel, and flamboyant Jamie—except for a man. Determined to change this, she enrolls in a night course for women over 35 on how to find a husband. The instructor demands she and her fellow classmates revisit 10 past boyfriends past in order to figure out what they have been doing wrong. Amelia dutifully makes the calls, revisiting the louse who cheated on her, the vain control freak, and the snooty rich boy. The one ex she doesn't want to revisit, her most recent boyfriend, turns up on her doorstep to announce that he not only is engaged but also will be living, along with his bride-to-be, right down the street. Buoyed by a charming cast of characters, Carroll's novel will have readers rapidly turning the pages to find out if Amelia finds her man and lives happily ever after—with or without him.

Forgotten Carols

Monday night my date and I saw Forgotten Carols. A wonderful Christmas musical which reminds us of the reasons for the Season and what families are all about. Beautifully portrayed, touching and worth setting the time aside despite the annual holiday frenzy you'll find yourself trapped in.

Get out of the house, get out of the stores, stop and enjoy!

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Rereading a Book

Usually I don't reread books. I already know the ending - right? Tonight I went back and looked at some of my past blogs. Kind of interesting to look at this day last year and before.

Things I've noticed...This year was tough for me, but I don't seem to be looking in my rear view window of life any more. I stopped about mid-August (specifically 14 days after July 29). This year taught me a lot of lessons. It closed some windows, opened some doors and set me loose with the most ultimate freedom imaginable. My sorrows ebbed, my heart open, my life still wonderful - what a wonderful way to close out the year.

This past week alone has been notable. I walked in the snow at night, sledded (at night - bonus points), a date, saw a play, baked, shopped, partied and decorated. Yes, things are good and I'm still the luckiest person on Earth.

See the ending still doesn't seem to change and that's a good thing.

Sexual Disorientation

This week's Intermountain Catholic had a letter and reponse in Pastoral Answers that I was so proud of. Proud because it was answers with a gentleness that I feel is what being Christian is all about. And the fact that it was a Catholic response made my heart swell.

The writer of the letter, a male, wrote of his torment, since childhood, with wanting to be a female. He said he'd a good life with his wife and family and had been a faithful Catholic, but still struggled with this desire.

The response, I felt was wonderful: The priest wrote that this desire seemed to affect a small number of people and then went on to acknowledge that it was very real and could make for a very confused and disoriented life. He went on to say it wasn't well studied or understood and therefore could offer no professional guidance (as a priest) on the cause or characteristics. The priest's guidance was to continue to attend Mass and stay with the sacraments and try every day to carry on as a good Catholic to the best of his ability. And then hit the home run: "In no way does your condition affect your standing in the eyes of God, and you are still, and always will be, his precious child." How beautiful. The priest did suggest that he discuss the condition with his doctor or a counselor if he could as those were the professionals who would have access to the clinical information he might want.

After The Storm

My favorite thing about winter growing up in Colorado and living in Utah is when the sun shines following a big ole snow storm. It is glorious.

I'd include pictures, but the SD card in my camera was cranky this morning.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Dream Big

Dave sent me these lyrics. Kinda me don't you think?

Dream Big

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes
'Cause better days are sure to come
And when you smile be sure to smile wide
Don't let them know that they have won
And when you walk, walk with pride
Don't show the hurt inside
Because the pain will soon be gone

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

The song itself can be played using this player:

Having Fun!

This week was super busy at work. We're changing some processes and the changes are allowing me to be more involved with a lot of things. This is a busy time of year budget money being unleashed (we hope) and positioning and planning create a flurry of activity.

I had a date too. Nice. The time flew by. Hiker, software, blogger guy. We have a lot in common I think, and what is different, sounds really interesting. He asked me out again :). I love meeting new people and forging new friendships...and at this time of year it makes the lights twinkle a little brighter.

The manager's Christmas party for work was this week. I enjoyed it - some great people at our table. We did a lot of laughing.

Today I went to see The Foreigner in SLC. Nice play. The weather held out until on our way back home. Very scary and slow ride.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Rockefeller Christmas Tree

I had the good fortune to see the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center a few years ago. I was disappointed, thinking it always appeared to be "bigger" than what I was looking at. I guess the perspective was comparing my field of vision to the filling up of my television screen. Whatever.

One of my friends just got back from NYC. We were talking about the tree and the question came up about how the tree actually got to the Center each year. Only a Google away I found:
  • The tree travels on a custom-made, telescoping trailer, which can stretch to 100 feet and can accommodate a tree up to 125 feet tall. It takes 15-20 people and a 280-ton, all-terrain hydraulic crane to handle the tree. The same crane is used to erect and remove the tree from its place of honor at Rockefeller Center.

  • The tree is transported from its home to New York City and then travels in the middle of the night with a police escort on a carefully planned route so traffic is disrupted as little as possible.

Everything you ever wanted to know about the tree can be found on the above link. Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Mystery Date

A little jingle started running through my head this morning. "Are you ready for your Mystery Date?" The jingle was for a pre-teen board game. Circa 1970. I found a place online where the vintage game can be ordered. A full set, good condition now runs about $125.

Here's the promo for it: Hello! Are you ready for your Mystery Date? You will never guess where your going! A Picnic, a Formal Dance, Skating, the Beach you will just have to play the game to find out. You will never know where it is for sure until you open the door. Dressed for Skiing? Sorry, Your date was going for a Picnic! Better luck next time!

Do I want to be 10 again? Nope.

Monday, December 03, 2007


Today was a willy-nilly, up and down, crazy, hectic, kind of day.

Drag the day out long enough and sure enough - it can end on a high note!

Tea cup up!


When I first met Robert's girls, I was at a loss on how to entertain them, get to know them. Yes, I had kids, girls too. But how does one break the ice and try to create a relationship when you're 20 something and they're under five?

Gingerbread houses.

Now many, many, years later, our (his grown into mine) daughter shares the tradition with her son. I present Jaden's gingerbread house. (Man I didn't think of Tootsie Roll Pops as trees - COOL!)

December 4 - I just got this email from Laura, Jaden's mom: "I thought about you and the gingerbread houses the entire time Jaden and I were making the house. Thank you mom. It is a great memory. You did good with us."

What's better than this? Huh?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Grumble Grumble Grumble

Today did NOT turn out as I expected. It is taking me forever to wrap these gifts and I'm BORED!

And I'm out of gift tags. Normally, I would just go make some, but my printer's color ink isn't working. I'm resorting to mailing labels and markers.

The unwrapped gifts and my living room mess aren't diminishing, but my patience is.

The tree looks OK though.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Snow Play

A quick update and then I'm digging in to do my chore list - snow wasn't on it and I've let it guide my day thus far. I really don't want to be inside. It is beautiful and relatively warm outside - I want to PLAY!

I oogled, I awed, I sipped coffee and then shoveled my walks. About mid way though I realized my back was hurting very badly. One of two things - I hurt it using the shovel I hate anyway (I go for the generic flat type) or since it had been weathery, my sinuses were causing the pain. Some ibuprophen and sudafed seem to have done the trick - or at least help. I went back out and kept shoveling.

I have a little car - it gets around pretty good. I clean the driveway really well, especially after the plow guy does the street so that I don't high center. Today we played tag. He'd pass, I'd shovel, he'd pass again, I'd push some more to the sides. Finally he just plowed through my piles and shoved them down the street. And he came back and did it again. He rolled down his window and said "I"m trying!!". I thanked him profusely. I have the cleanest drive area of the whole area.

I wasn't going to allow any freakin back pain because I hadn't done my sledding yet. Now I have. About a dozen passes. I love going after the kids have started the tracks. Wheeeeeeeeee. A good run nearly knocks me into the sandbox.

Then...(see why I have nothing done inside the house???)...I make Cola Cao, grabbed two magazines and my santa hat and headed back to the park to sip and read. (One mag was to sit on.) The quiet of the air when it snows is so special. Yes, my pages got wet from the flakes, but who cares?

All I really want to do today is walk and take it all in.

I Couldn't Have...

...ordered a more perfect day!

It's SNOWING! It has snowed most of the night. Not an excessive amount. It is beautiful! And

1) It's Saturday - so I don't have drive anywhere
2) I got 99% of my Christmas shopping done yesterday
3) I get to put up the tree with this gorgeous ambiance
4) I get to wrap presents on this perfect Winter day
5) This is when I LOVE my 16' windows - heating bill and all!
6) I get to shovel snow
7) The boots and rain gear going on - time to go SLEDDING in my park!
8) The cocoa tastes twice as good!

Friday, November 30, 2007

An Affair To Remember

Hello Netflix, hello classics. I watched the movie tonight for the first time...Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr. I finally understand parts of Sleepless in Seattle that eluded me until now. I haven't done many classics in the past. I see them in my future.

I seem to have this whole Meg Ryan thing going on right now anyway (including the hair thing) why not!

Last night I watched Lake House. That is the sweetest movie ever. I really have to add it to my collection and stop renting it.

Enough sap for tonight!

Santa's Little Helper

I took the day off, donned my Santa hat, bulked up my wallet and ventured out and did the deed. I got (I believe, at this point) 99% of my Christmas shopping done! I did the artist's bazaar, downtown Provo, mid Provo, the grocery store, the Mall, the other Mall.

Tonight I wrap.

Tomorrow is the tree and decorating.

How am I guaranteed to get this all done this weekend? EVERYTHING is in my living room. Presents, paper, tree, decorations, ladder, step stool, EVERYTHING. And my living room is my absolutely, no exceptions, a clutter free zone.

See how I am?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


You know that teensy little itty bitty sound that lets you know all the cylinders just fell into place? Yeah - that one. Click.

A Kinder, Gentler Workplace

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2 TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4 TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5 TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7 TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8 TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9 TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10 TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11 TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13 TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14 TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15 TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18 TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Dance With Me!

Having four days off to circulate with friends and family can leave one thoughtful. I made cookies this morning (overlooking the high altitude directions) and pondered the pockets of activities and gatherings.

I'm part "what makes the toaster work" and part "who cares as long as it works" and "we need a plan "B" and "just go with the flow". It is sometimes makes me overly accepting and/or difficult for me to move in or let go of people, patterns and traditions.

While I started this post to note my observations about the weekend, I'll leave that be. Because the dissecting of ME that I just did, just clarified why my life never really stagnates, explains my diverse friendships and why I'm so willing to take on so many adventures.

So my quickly shrinking world of with me, sing with me, explore the globe with me, laugh with me and love me if you dare!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Turkey Free Teri

A bird remined free yesterday thanks to me and actually a few of my friends. It seems the sea creatures didn't have it so good. From reports I found that Snapper, Salmon and Shrimp all didn't fare so well. Ah....such is the chain of life.

Chair rail up! Today my friend's Christmas lights.

I'm off to hit some sales on foot.

I forgot how much I love Thanksgiving weekend. It seems it is the only where I manage to get a lot done, get some real ME-time and get some substantial rest.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I Drank My Dinner

You'll laugh. Yes, I had some wine, a glass of red, followed by a glass of (really great Sonoma) white. But preceeding both I had a cup of Cola Cao (Spain) cocoa and followed the wine with Stephen's Candycane cocoa. I AM in Utah after all!

I know it's bad to drink your trouble's away....but this is rather amusing. I promise I won't attempt to operate any machinery that isn't battery powered. And just where did YOUR brain go just now??? I was talking about my computer, my DVD player and my iPod.

You're Cordially Invited

To My Pity Party. Whine and Cheese are now being served.

My daughter is moving home this weekend. I love her dearly and am welcoming her back with open arms. But in the last year I have unfolded the most beautiful butterfly wings that I've ever possessed and retracting them is proving a little more difficult than I imagined.

We easily talked out the roommate rules moving from the mother/daughter roles we've filled in the past. Living by the new rules will, I'm sure, pose some challenges. After all we had 24 years of perfecting the original roles.

She moved out and I moved into her space. Now I'm having to contract my space. Mind you, this house is huge. Her space offered a creative outlet - a way for me to learn decorating and what personal s-p-a-c-e was. Something that I've never had own space with walls I could color however I wished.

As I took down the accents that I had pulled together in my yoga room/her room and placed them in baskets and boxes to move to a closet, I cried. It seemed such a shame to put my backpack in a closet. It was my everything for 275 miles. Putting it out, say in my bedroom or livingroom, isn't sane either. In the yoga room, it had it seemed to have a place of its own - an earned right to be visible. That room was my faith and energy to prepare for Spain. It is as hard for me to leave it as I'm sure it is for her to come back to it changed.

We'll work it out, no doubt.

Tonight, I'll take care of all the things I need to reign in, including my conflicting emotions.

Tomorrow, I'll be ready to embrace the joy of having my daughter and my grandson near me each and every day. And knowing that it is a choice to be with me and that I'm so very very loved. At the end of the day - who would really want it any differently?

After all - I really do get to have it all: the new me in the old arrangement (and it wasn't bad at all). I lose a paint job (for now) - big deal.

Pass the chevre please.

Capacity of Love

No matter how much someone loves you (or you love them), the relationship will be limited by the capacity of each individual to love (verb - verb - verb) and be loved (verb - verb - verb).

Reality: the smaller the capacity the higher the limitations. The more limitations, the lower chance of success. Add the "to" and "be" dimensions as qualifiers, and well, good thing there's sex or who would even try eh? Add whether the sex is good or....nevermind.

I guess this can be a positive or a negative prospect depending on which patch of grass you're standing on - the green one or the pissed-all-over-yellow one. The key is finding someone that either matches, complements, or exceeds your limitations. Put a mirror to that and the naked reality is only "matches" or "complements" will win you the big white bear from the fun fair.

Everything else is just hurling darts at colorful balloons which are simply filled with air.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Adjectives of Teri

Do you agree?

"cute, intelligent, funny, annoying, temperamental, traveled, appreciative, kind, did I mention annoying?"

Voting open, post below :)

You've Come A Long Way Baby...

How's this for a Monday:

I worked at home today so I could also watch my grandson. He was an angel through 9.5 intense hours - through two long conference calls. ANGEL.
Then I painted a chair rail, invented a new stuffing, washed the dishes, chatted on line, practiced my Spanish, and texted Dancing with The Stars five times voting for MARIE OSMOND (although Jennie Garth did really really well too) and started moving things out of the spare rooms.

Whew - rock and roll!


Yesterday was Thanksgiving for me. Most of my very best friends were assembled and we had our GivingThanks. It was the most stress-free T-giving I can remember. And everyone is pretty much a gourmet cook - so the food was fabulous!!

The LOGICAL family knows when to stampede into your life and when to recede. They know when to divert the tears and when to let you weep. They remember your birthday and celebrate your you-ness. They trust you with their secrets and you know they can handle yours. They know you better than you do yourself and will gently introduce you to an introspection. They make time for you, days, nights, football, weekends, Sundays. They call you. You call them. They make you snort beverages through your nose and pee your pants with laughter. They chose to be with you because they love you - and not that they love you and therefore have to be with you.

So here's a toast for the family we've assembled that are perfectly described "byLOGICAL"!

(Thanks Diana for the LOGICAL label - it is PERFECT!)

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Star Light Star Bright The First Star I Saw Tonight

....was falling in a blaze of glory! Beautiful!

What a fabulous day - warm, sunny.

I had a fun visit to the goat farm "where every goat has a name". One came over to the fence and let us pet her. It was fun to hear cow bells again.We got some fabulous chevre.

We were five minutes early for the State Wine Store opening up. The parking lot was empty. By eleven the lot was packed! The child sized shopping carts were buzzing all over the store. (The energy level was much like the anticipated retail store specials the day after Thanksgiving!) I realized being the weekend before Thanksgiving it was the place to be if one wanted to have good wine, but WOW!

We had some ever excellent Greek food for lunch. There again we were 10 minutes early for being able to buy wine - noon. We ordered our food and 10 minutes later we could be served our beverage.

Sidenote: I'm encouraging my friend to open up a blog about the interesting alcohol rules here. Maybe doing it for the whole US would be amusing too.

Then off to the theater:

Wild Oats is always a welcome shopping adventure. I came home and made chestnuts-roasting-in-my-oven.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Happy Day

There are some days that just manage to shine above the others. It doesn't take a lot to elevate a day. A couple of people dropping by, a couple of good emails, a compliment shared, a beautiful sunset, a good idea.

I love my life.

Monday, November 12, 2007

My Little Prayer

You've taught me how simply putting one foot in front of the other would carry me to my goal - even when I didn't really know what the goal was. You taught me that keeping the faith would protect me. Please keep reminding me of this for the next little while. Thank you.

The $64,000 Question

Why do all my old loves still love me but no one will step up to the plate and "keep" me?

A shrink would have a heyday with this post. Eh?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Funny Thing This Life Of Mine

I was cleaning up some files today and ran across a couple I'd made of IMs from last year. The first from this same week of last year to be exact. I kept them because they were so amazingly sweet and romatic.

This isn't meant to be a downer post, just a note that life ebbs and flows. Life has highlights, low lights and is sometimes simply absence of light. This fall has been magnificent in its own right. It did not need to be accentuated by a single person, as it was and continues to be brightened by a multitude of individuals, some long ago loves, some treasured freinds, and of course, my new Camino friends.

And because I never, ever, give up hope, my dreams always have a chance of coming true. Sometimes, I'm not always pleased at the turn or timing of events, but from experience I know all will be well and the blessings will continue to come my way.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Tis The Season

Gingerbread Lattes are now being served at Starbucks!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Take Me As I Am

Someone wrote something to me the other day and it has struck with me as one of the most profound things that has been shared with me in years.

"Thank you for being Theresa."

It was not compartmentalized as "thank you for doing this for me" or "being this role". It wasn't an action or a portion of my personality. It was the whole me.

And the person that said it, did not know me as a long time friend, a co-worker, a girlfriend, a schoolmate, a colleague, a mother, a customer, a sister or a vendor. He got to know me my most vulnerable, transparent, simply "Teri" state, in Spain.

What he probably doesn't realize is that I will remember this when I feel that I'm not enough to everyone or even a someone. Because sometimes, just being "me" should be enough. And too, with his words, I realize that someday someone special will love me and keep me just for that.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Dusty Underwear

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny,
said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes
in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied with a snicker... "It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'."

In The Groove

You'll see shortly, with the next post that my life has settled down again. I don't have much to report, but there are some great emails circulating out there that are cracking me up.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Fall at Teri's House

I have the perfect yard for being a traveler. The front lawn is the size of a postage stamp with a couple of teeny leaf trees and one that has a good amount and offers some spectacular color. The back "yard" is long and narrow, all patio and no grass. And the real beauty is the back is always shaded in the summer because of being lined with beautiful, big leafy trees. (Seeing the picture developing here?)
I have three seasons of fall. The first being the leaves fall off the trees just enough to make the yard look sloppy. The solution is a quick rake and sweep. That is immediately followed (usually within a day) with the "big dump". I truly believe the trees wait for my first pass and then spend the night quaking and shaking nearly all the rest of their leaves off. Notice, I said, nearly. The picture below is the second season. The "stripe" is mid-calf to knee deep!

The third season is when the rest come off and it requires one additional pass or there's a gooey mess that will remain under the snow this winter and will have to be clawed off come spring or the front lawn will die.

I had eleven trees on my previous property. The leaves at this house, even though I don't have the quarter acre of property, equal the amount I had at the last place.

Monday, October 29, 2007

I Like Being A Grown Up Because...

Readers warning: Rated PG 13

I was in a "mood" today. Hyperaware of things going on around me: a gal standing at another's desk for what seemed like hours, with this funky little laugh erupting every few minutes; conversations happening down the hall; scrutinizing emails being exchanged; conversations about energy lines in the earth (which I used to scoff at, but now am becoming curious); enthusiasim about proposals I'm creating, etc. In other words, it was more like a normal Monday (finally and thank goodness) but with some tobasco on it!

My point:

I was browsing through my junk mail file to see if there was anything worth keeping (lately, I've been missing some good mail that got mis-routed) and saw this: STIFFY IN A JIFFY. Not only did that send me into a fit of laughter but because if it, a couple of us ended up really looking at the stuff in there. And when you start bouncing the related subject lines between two people, the story builds and builds and builds.......I like being a grown up.

I had also donned a pair of cranky pants today. I no longer get sent to my room, instead my best friend politely said, "Why don't you go home and have a glass of wine?" I like being a grown up.

I came home and waiting on my doorstep was 1) my very soft cat, 2) a 1st edition Gertrude Atherton novel, and 3) a new silk Liz Claiborne dress. I like being a grown up.

I thought about making dinner and opted instead for a 60 second batch of nachos. I like being a grown up.

I like being a grown up!

What A Woman Should.....

This has circulated through my Inbox several times. I like it.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE old love she can imagine going back to...
and one who reminds her how far she has come...'
...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
..something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
...a youth she's content to leave behind...
...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE friend who always makes her laugh...
and one who lets her cry...
...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
....eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..
...a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW to fall in love without losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
...when to try harder and when to walk away...
...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
...that her childhood may not have been perfect
...but its over
...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
... even if she doesn't like it...
...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
...where to go it to her best friend's kitchen table
...or a charming inn in the woods
...when her soul needs soothing...
...what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year...

Friday, October 26, 2007

And Then Time Stood Still

Last night I was window shopping while waiting for my friends. We were throwing a birthday party at Happy Sumo and I was early. I wandered around Riverwoods not finding anything particularly eye-catching.

There's a Border's Books near the restaurant and I figured I could amuse myself until my cell phone started announcing arrivals. What I didn't anticipate was the lump-in-the-throat-recollection of last being there and being madly in love last year.

The memory of pouring over books together, mostly cookbooks (and finding and memorizing the title of one so I could present it at Christmas), laughing, snuggling and being so relaxed and happy, was overpowering. That was one of the few weekends that we ever had (made) together. The whole weekend was light and intimate and playful. It was cold and snowy and that didn't matter. I remember thinking then how happy I was. I was surprised at how much of an imprint that day/event/place had made on me.

It's so easy, in the beginning, to build sweet memories. They always linger long past the lifespan of the relationship itself. This trip down memory lane was bittersweet.

Fortunately, I only had time to enjoy the memory but not sulk, as my friends started calling and I was drawn to the present to laugh a ton, eat great food and down some saki. All hail to the Birthday Boy!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Time Marches On

I'm getting a better handle on why I'm out of sorts. A month go today I arrived in Santiago. I realized this while eating one of those tuna lunch packs today. I did lots of tuna meals in Spain, but they were very different from the American version I'm eating now. Soon I can't say "last month when I was in Spain" and that makes me sad.

We had a grief counselor come to the office today. That helped some. We still have some hurting units in our midst. All of us first in are still struggling. Those who worked near and closely with him have a completely different set of aches to deal with. We're all better, but there's a long long way still to go.

Boy does life trudge on or WHAT?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Odd day. I feel discomboulated. Not sure what it's all about. I hope to shake it tomorrow - I don't like feeling undefinable. :)

Subject Line: 9 Words I Guess Men Should Know

I was copied on a foward of the following email. The subject line fits well with the he reluctantly understood that it was good information to have. I also felt that he was also resigned to getting caught in "the trap" anyway.


1. Fine:
This is a word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Now.
2. Five Minutes:
This is a tricky one. If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes only really means five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house or leaving to go shopping.
3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This definitely means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end with Fine.
4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she has deemed you an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. (Refer to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)
6. That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's Okay means she wants to contemplate long and hard before determining exactly how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or pass out. Simply say, "You're welcome."
8. Whatever:
This a woman's way of saying GO F@!K YOURSELF! Southern women don’t say "whatever." They say "aren’t you cute" or "bless your heart." Do not be fooled: this also means GO F@!K YOURSELF!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another extremely dangerous statement. This means that she has told a man to do something several times, but he has obviously failed, and she is now doing it herself. This is not good, and will later result in the man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

*Share this with the men you know, to educate them about frustration they can avoid if they learn and remember the terminology.

*Share this with the women you know to give them a good laugh, because they know it's true.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Joy Peeking In?

I went for a walk last night. Surprising given that I haven't walked a mile since I got home. Look at the tally: September 275, October 0.

It was beautiful: The sunset in the west with the evening light and mountain's silhouette and reflection on the lake. The "last light" brightly illuminating the snow capped peaks of the eastern range while showing off the pinkness of the lower rises.

The chill in the air, the crunch of the leaves, the reminder of the joy I felt (when my feet stopped hurting) of the walking motion in Spain.

It was nice to feel whole again for a couple of miles at least. Ten breaths in ten I'd say.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Angels In My Midst

I had so many people helping me stay strong and get through last week. The tenderness shown to me was moving - and I really needed it. There was an amazing amount of support being shared throughout our building. I admire all the caring people we have within our walls.

Thanks to the very special angel (and I know you are one) who came to me EARLY this morning and answered my question (concern) and lifted my sorrow. The clock maneuver was a good one.

Someone sent this to me to help me get through last week:

When upon life's billows
You are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged
Thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings
Name them one by one
And it will surprise you
What the Lord has done

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

Are you ever burdened
With a load of care
Does the cross seem heavy
You are called to bear
Count your many blessings
Every doubt will fly
And you will be singing
As the days go by

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

When you look at others
With their lands and gold
Think that Christ has promised
You His wealth untold
Count your many blessings
Money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven
Nor your home on high

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

So, amid the conflict
Whether great or small
Do not be discouraged
God is over all
Count your many blessings
Angels will attend
Help and comfort give you
To your journey's end

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

- Words by Johnson Oatman, 1897

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Pajama Day

If it can't be done in pajamas today - it isn't worth doing.


It's dangerous having a hidey hole 1/3 of the way around the world. Weeks like this drive my head back to my new found solitary, healing, introspective days communing with nature. It's a good thing I'm not made of money because I surely would be on a jet and "outta here".

I keep taking deep breaths. Soon, I'm sure, has history has proven itself over and over, one breath in ten won't be for emotional survival, then two, then three. They will once again be taking in the world and finding beauty.

This week has been long. The beauty/pain of my brother's memorial service, the shock, sorrow and grace of Curtis' passing, this weekend of family, friends, release, and reality. Tomorrow I face another Monday, which for this one will be difficult being "a week ago today".

I'll look forward to a period again where not every moment is so crystally defined by fate. I will make a point to appreciate the blessed gift of filtered memories.

Based on the last two months being filled with major perspective-changing events, I need to now sit myself down and define what I want my future to resemble. What IS important singularly to me and more outwarly reaching, to those closest to me? What do I absolutely WANT to do, think would be cool, don't give a crap about anymore? What am I willing to let go of that I THOUGHT was important, but really at the end of the day, isn't. Who do I need to bring in closer and who do I need to let go of? How can I leave this world in a BETTER state than when I came into it? Yes, I'm waxing philosophical - but I believe that is the lesson I was ultimately supposed to take away from this week. Change in once again in the air.


Thursday, October 18, 2007

Rough Week

If you read two posts down, you know I've had a rough week. The shock filter is wearing off and I'm struggling with things. The event, the loss of a co-worker, watching the grief of his close friends at work. At times it is taking me to the brink.

So I'm looking for bright spots. I posted the pumpkin carving site, I'm allowing myself to eat some chocolate and I'm trying to keep others afloat.

About the only shiny thing I can pull out of this week is this: I can wear my normal shoes again and without pain. Big whoopie.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Halloween Fun!

Here's a happy little diversion for you:


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Please, For Me!

All, Yesterday morning as I let myself into my office and heard a woman calling for help. It was the wife of one of our employees. Her husband, an early shift employee with some health issues, hadn't called her on his arrival at work. Not having his call, she attempted to call him and not reaching him, came to the office. How she got in, we may never know.

I finally located her voice and found her, with her husband, my co-worker, in her arms. I called 911 and then my manager, who amazingly floated to my side seemingly seconds later. We tried to revive him and traded off doing CPR. My manager, also an LDS Bishop, gave our colleague a blessing (customary here).

My point to this story is not to tell you about my week - it is to pass on a request of mine. I do this because he could have been YOUR spouse, your child, your friend, MY daughter, my brother, my grandchild, my friend. I want you to know and have these things:

1) Take a CPR course.

2) If by the grace of God you haven't had to use your skill, and your certification expires, RE-CERTIFY! Don't put yourself in a position of wondering if you might not be able to do it. Know it, do it, do it right.

3) Have a GOOD and comprehensive first aid kit created - in your home and at your business. Know where it is. Replace used items promptly.

4) Put a GOOD first aid kit in your car and a heavy blanket or two. (I've had to use these in other incidents).

5) Have your emergency information available so you don't have to think about it. Have your address posted - either as a business card or note near your phone.

5) Be prepared so you don't have to think - you only have to do. IT WORKS!

I tell you this because all of these things were in place for me and it made it very natural and easy to help. I don't want you to wonder if you could have done more, if you should have done it differently. I want you to be prepared. I want you, without having to think, to be able to deal with whatever comes your way.

Because I love you.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Other Half Of Me!

I'm in Sonoma for my brother's Memorial service. I haven't had the opportunity to get to know this side of my family until now.

I know now why I am the way I am. All the genetic and environmental puzzle pieces have come together.

I am the luckiest girl on this earth.

(From my Treo)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Poking Love At Myself

Last night it hit - The Camino Blues. I'd heard of them, but I refused to read about them before I left because I didn't want to read myself into having them if they were contagious. Last night I KNEW they'd found me. I decided to hunt down people's comments about it and instead I actually found a write up about a STUDY that had been done on people who had done the Camino and then found themselves in the dumps.

Check. Check. Yup. Check. Dang. Check. Yup. Oh Crap, check. Classic case. I finally quit trying to do work work and just went through some of my Camino momentos and let myself go back for awhile. Then today I came up with something that I can actually HUG if I need an escape.

I went to BuildABear. I have done bears with or for all my grandkids. Now it was MY turn. I have a bear collection, but it is all white bears save one red one given to me last Valentines Day. This situation called for something out of the ordinary.

BAB had an Autumn Bear. I LOVE FALL! And having done my Camino during my favorite season made this the perfect bear. He's Orange, yellow and reddish and has a fall colored leaf stenciled on his nose and paw. And he came with a pin, which I also collect, that looks like him. The pin will go at the end of the Camino row on my display.

It gets better. I was searching for an accessory for him....YUP!....a pair of Speedos. I was explaining to the salesclerk that I had been staying in public housing while touring Spain and the Speedos were in abundance. "Oh - in the hostals?" She went on to explain she'd done her mission in Spain - we reminisced about places and foods. Then I told her I'd done "El Camino de Santiago" and she squeals "I always wanted to do THAT!" So with much love and understanding of the country and the pilgrimage, she and I went about making James bear. We both kissed his little heart before placing it inside of him. (Those who are BAB fans, know the drill here.)

They didn't actually Speedo's, but they did have a representative pair of knit boxers (saw lots of those too) for my whimsy. And the best part...his eyes have a look of understanding.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Don't Know What To Say

I need to blog, I don't know how to get it out. It was one of those days. My Spain filter thinned. I want it back. Reality bites. I want my bubble back!

The $64 Question

I knew that once I was back from Spain this would come up. "Are you going to start dating now?"

It was easy to shrug off the question before the trip. "I'll think about that when I get back - this is my focus now." I'm back. What's the answer?

I didn't think about it on the Camino - I thought about my peoples, but not about where they entered or, if applicable, exited my life. So now the flag has been raised and I need to look at this....or not. I guess that's an option too.

Sometimes I whine a teensy little bit that I won't ever get to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary (I guess I might....if I worked really fast and we both lived and lived happily everafter until I was at least 75). I had a 10th wedding anniversary once, but it was forgotten by the other half. I don't want to repeat THAT either. Are you beginning to understand my thinking?

I haven't dated much in the last decade. I few dates here and there, a few relationships tried. Mainly I worked and mom-ed. I did work my way up to being at a super company and a fabulous job, I travel for work and pleasure, my family is grown and I own real estate and a fun car. All things I'd never done before either due to age, financial status or "the partnership". Is that related to being single? Depending on how you spin it, yes.

And...I had to deal with the "fix thyself or you'll do it again reality" then (a decade ago) whereas everyone I seem to meet is just crossing that threshold now. I am not the "answer" to multi-decade broken marriage. I'm flattered that so many think I am, but I'm not.

One thing that I do revel in is that with pretty much everyone that I have been involved with in passing or longer term, I've come away with something more in me than when I started. This is a beautiful thing and I'm grateful for it. My world and soul have been enriched because of the encounter(s).

That said. I don't have an answer to the question. I know I've spent an ton of money the last six months at the bookstore and all the storylines are running on foreign soil. I can still hide behind the Camino and the excuse that very few people could understand or support my return. And, I'm very tempted to bury myself under the warm fleece of emotional preservation, to say "maybe after the Holidays" which personally I could drag out until April 27 of 2008. And then, there's the Mexico.......

How 'bout them Broncos?

Monday, October 08, 2007

Been There, Done That

The Camino boards were buzzing this week about Eunate stories. Having "just" been there myself, I shared my experience and mentioned a 10x Camino-er that had been stayed there the same night. Tonight I received an email from another Pilgrim, who on her 4th Camino (getting the pattern here of re-visits?) filmed the man I was mentioning.

I went to her site and well, she happens to be a noted writer and filmographer (and frequent walker) of the Camino. Like wow! She wrote to me!!! I had just heard of her work just before I left and hadn't had the opportunity to read or watch her video. I can't wait to now.

As I started viewing one of the clips on the site, before the buffering even let it all lose, I was in tears. The first scenes were sunrises and then it focused on some movement, the crunching of the stones from the boots.

This is all still very fresh in my mind, as I hope I can keep it for a long time. Today was the first day I didn't have swelling in my feet and ankles since I've returned so I know time is going to attempt to erase secret world.

But hopefully with people like Sue and the boards we all contribute to, will allow us to bask for a very long least until we can get there again.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

I Want Everything

This song came out when I was 16 or 17 years old. I loved it then and I love it now.

I want to learn what life is for
I don't want much, I just want more
Ask what I want and I will sing
I want everything (everything)
I'd cure the cold and the traffic jam
If there were floods, I'd give a dam
I'd never sleep, I'd only sing
Let me do everything (everything)
I'd like to plan a city, play the cello
Play at Monte Carlo, play Othello
Move into the White House, paint it yellow
Speak Portuguese and Dutch
And if it's not too much
I'd like to have the perfect twin
One who'd go out as I came in
I've got to grab the big brass ring
So I'll have everything (everything)
I'm like a child who's set free
At the fun fair
Every ride invites me
And its unfair
Saying that I only get my one share
Doesn't seem just
I could live as I must
If they'd give me the time to turn a tide
Give me the truth if once I lied
Give me the man who's gonna bring
More of everything
Then I'll have everything

Barbara Streisand, A Star Is Born


What a serene, wonderful weekend.

Pat and I went to a church dinner on Friday, I puttered around the house and yard doing some chores, I met with some friends, I baked, I shopped, I read, I blogged. I made arrangemments to go to California next weekend. And......

I was able to put real shoes on today! I don't know if I can go a full nine or ten hours, but four is a great start.

I love the crisp air that Fall brings. The smells, the changing light, the colors. I was so fortunate to spend a month outside in it.

Sad Contrast

Last month I hiked alone for 275 miles in a foreign country. I could have done 500 (with a little more time) - still alone. In the dark of night and height of day.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping. At the entry way to the store was an armed security guard (we aren't talking just during a Loomis visit either). I'm not in New York City or Chicago or LA. I'm in Happy Valley, Utah.


Saturday, October 06, 2007

Last Saturday's Snow Day

Last Saturday, having just come home from the airport a few hours earlier and not being able to sleep, I opted to stay up until Saturday night. At one point I noticed the house was bathed in a beautiful salmon tinted light. Looking for the source I was lucky enough to witness this sunrise.
Later that day and this Saturday too, we experienced early winter snow...the limited, wet, yucky kind. The kind you know is going to, eventually lead to winter. For now it's just gearing up.

Isn't this a lovely sight?

My Refrigerator Door

I looked at the magnets today and found that they truly reflect me. What do you think?

Santiago Update

I'm glad it is the weekend. I'll be able to work on my Camino site some more.

I found out from a co-worker there is a software/service company (of course there is!) that will allow you to copy your blog, pictures and all, add entries if you wish (emails from my Camino friends?), and then the company will print and bind it into a book. I think the costs sound reasonable. This encourages me to complete the blog work - others can use/enjoy the content (I'm seeing the traffic grow and diversify (global) until the technology changes. I was going to start a "print and notebook" campaign - but this will be soooooo much easier and the final product be "professional".

I'm still basking and considering when my next opportunity to return will present itself.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Oh What A New "Do" Will Do!

I try to generously tip my hairdresser. This round, I need to go back and give her some more. I needed to get my "hiking" off my head. She handed me a pile of magazines, I found what I liked, and she set about doing it.

Oh my! What a GREAT day I'm having as a result. We're talking double-takes and wolf whistles. (Those just aren't heard in Utah and are even less likely in our office.) People are stopping me in the hall and coming by my office to compliment me.


Still There

I'm having a cool week. I am happy to be back at work. My perspective on the world has been modified and I'm glad to report after a week it is still clinging. Hopefully I can report the same in a month!

I dream about the Camino every night - so the beauty and experience is lingering. I never used to remember my dreams. This is nice - it's like I've never left.

I'm able now to start working on my feet and making them presentable again. They're healed enough to start a little bit of primping and I am actually wearing some real (albiet open) shoes today.

A visit to the hairdresser got the long (braidable) and sunbleached blondness out of my hair. I feel like a lady again.

Last night I treated myself to a Cola Cao. Spain's hot chocolate. What a treat!

I'm reading two books right now about people's travels. My wonderlust is seeded for next year.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Giving Thanks - Update

I just wrote emails to the airline that facilitated in scheduling my trip and the airline who relentlessly worked to track down my lost hiking stick.

I thanked them for their efforts in making my trip (flights) and bringing my trip home (my walking stick).

Have you thanked your support system today? Give it a try - let someone know that their caring affected you in a positive way.

Watch the world change.


1) Continental, who worked so hard on my walking stick, wrote back to me today thanking me for taking the time to recognize their efforts. They said they try, but it isn't often that someone makes the effort to note it.

2) I tried to help out another manager today with getting various pieces of information for his team. He sent thank you's in response to each email. He caught me in the hall and thanked me again! And then one of his team members stopped by to thank me because the manager had told the group where the information had come from.

3) I went to the outdoors store that sold me my pack and later did adjustments to thank the man for his help. My pack was a perfect match and fit. He wasn't there, but the other salesrep had me write a note for him. She also suggested that I write to the owner, including pictures, but they highlighted special trips on their website. My little adventure will be highlighted locally!

Going Back

I've got the jet-lag/time zone change cobwebs out of my head (still not out of the house though).

The walking stick made it home (and now my trip seems more REAL and less SURREAL). I'm starting to receive emails from my Camino Friends telling me where they are (ALMOST to the finish line!!!).

What always reminds me that I'm back into reality is the fact that I'm back to American food. I long for the tastes of the countries I've visited. This morning I recreated the tortilla y patata or Tortilla Espagna - shape and all. (OK move on past the fact that 1) I cooked and 2) I cooked in the morning 3) I cooked in the morning on a workday).

So far so good on holding on the euro food scene since I've returned. I really had the time to learn the names, the ingredients and TASTE the food on this trip. There was no pressure of time and I learned to sit and eat and think and enjoy.

Yet another gift of the Camino.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Did You Hear That?

Oh how I love the silence now. The camino has given my home a new dimension. Walking by myself has given me a new perspective on time, me and what is important. I hope it sticks.

Back To Reality

I have one last day to revel in the beauty of Spain and one more day to ease back into reality.

Two things have presented themselves as .... "welcome back Teri". The bathroom drains did not fix themselves while I was gone. I called this morning to have someone come and take a look at them, I've put it off since my Paris trip last year. Good thing I called - I thought I would give the bathtub a little scrub since the slow drains have left most of Spain in the bottom of my tub since I've returned and what I found when I opened the shower curtin was that this morning's shower water (3 hours ago) was still hanging around. Time to deal with that.

The second thing is I dusted before I left and while I was gone the little dust and cobweb fairies had a hey day. I have huge windows in the front of the house that beg the warmth of the fall sun to come through and beat out the chill. Today those windows merely served as SPOTLIGHTS of the doings of the fairies.

So I'll do my little house treadmill to keep the kinks out of my aching limbs and get ready to swing into reality tomorrow. I don't mind....working makes all these wonderful adventures possible. My job, which is a dream, makes working fine by me.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Dear Nora

Dear Nora,

I've been traveling (walking across Spain - I'll let your mother tell you about that) and haven't been able to properly greet you upon your entry into this world. I want to tell you some things that you'll need to know as you grow up.

Welcome to the world! You are truly a ray of sunshine for many people. You are so very dearly loved by many already. Not every child entering this world can say that. But you are very special.

As you grow up you'll have times where you think you aren't loved enough, smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, wanted enough, etc. Please come back to this letter and know, while you're feeling that way at that moment, that the reality of it is you are loved beyond what you'll probably ever comprehend. You were born to two of the most wonderful people I've ever known. You are in good hands. Your frustration and doubt will pass.

I've known your mommy (how wonderful it is to say that) for a very, very long time. She's a light in my life and one of my dearest friends. She's kicked my backside, convinced me to drive hundreds of miles (in a day and back sometimes), been an example to follow, she's hugged me when no one else knew that I needed one. She's a smart woman and a hard worker. Her heart is as big as the Grand Canyon (wait until you study geography to understand this). She's also stubborn as a mule (call me or Grandma Karleen when you need to commiserate on this one).

Your dad is a great man too. Your mom loves your dad very much and he loves her back. They are an example for the rest of us on what love and marriage are. Listen to them - even when you don't want to. They will teach you how to be loving and smart and soon they will listen to you because you'll be as smart as both of them combined. And your Grandma Karleen is a wonderful woman who made your mommy the great person that she is.

Nora - we love you and are so glad you're here. Welcome to our world - we know we're in good hands with you in it!

I will let (again) your mother explain this, but my nickname for you is Merlot. And I am the one who bought you the pink poodle costume for your first Halloween. It will probably be the last chance you have at having access to pink.

I can't wait to hold you and say WELCOME in person!

With much love, Auntie Teri

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Adios Amigos/Amigas

(Post Dated) September 1, 2007

Today is a busy day - by the time you all read this, I will have already been in Amsterdam, Lyon, Bairritz, Bayonne, and finally in St. Jean Pied de Port, France.

Tomorrow I will be starting my Camino to Santiago de Compostela. After three years there's only 800 km (500 miles) to go!

I will raise my hiking poles in gratitude to God for making yet another dream of mine be realized and for my wonderful friends and family who have helped me get here.

If you care to follow my walk, please visit

I will not update this blog until I return.

But most very importantly - I want to be the first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY DWIGHT! I'm so happy you're a part of this adventure! You can open your package now :0)


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

In Case Of Emergency

My friend Louise is supporting (unwaveringly) my trip and but she is beginning to turn her lip under when discussing my imminent departure. So.....being the friend that I am...... I have made her an emergency Teri Kit to help her get through it. If the separation anxiety gets the best of her, she can break it open and indulge.

Barry Manilow Greatest Hits CD
Corks from my two favorite red wines
My teal tiara
A pack of tissues
An early Christmas present
My favorite book about Paris (Happy Birthday to us!)
A stinky sock (so she knows what she's REALLY missing)
A scallop shell (symbol of the Camino)
A picture taken of us at Pat's Christmas party
And a mild "MEN!" greeting card (we don't man bash!)
Dark chocolate (or the closest facimile I could find on short assembly)
My ring and its magic yellow egg for safekeeping. (The bunny stays home.)
THE share bear
I'm-missing-her-too-but-don't-want-to-think-about-it air.

And I implore Team Teri to keep her IMd, emailed, Sushi Tuesday'd, wined, dined and otherwise distracted until I return.