I've starting posting again in earnest the last few months. Well, at least in my head, the posting dialog has been running. It hasn't made it to my fingers and keyboard. Why?
Living alone in a foreign country affords you thinking time you can't get in the midst of a normal life. At "home" there are family and friends and habits, that lovingly or not so lovingly hold you hostage to your life. Call, assist, schedule, go, get, talk, call, text. All things that are necessary and even desired and desirable. But away and alone seems to pacify my need to journal. I seem to experience things at a deeper level that doesn't require me to "capture" it on paper or in bytes. My experience seem to linger within me. Perhaps because they aren't so jostled by today's normal existance?
Away from "home" you get the choice to be their you or your you. The inner dialog changes from an integrated one to a more personal one. Not knowing a horde of people and being geographically disengaged from the their you, gives you a chance to listen, grow and get to know your you.
I have made many made many friends, including myself, on this magical tour. For my whole life, I've pretty much had defining people in my life. Family, friends, loves, spouses, children. I still have all of them, but with a 5000 mile cushion. I like spending time with my new friends and I like spending time with me. I've been blessed with visitors and vists home. I have the best of all worlds right now. An extension that few will ever experience.
I have travelled extensively and have friends all over the world. Close friends. I seek them out. They seek me out. I sometimes allow myself to say "not today". I have found I enjoy travelling with others as much as I enjoy traveling alone. You see things differently with others than you do on your own. I have found that I enjoy watching someone explore a place I've already been as much as I enjoy returning. I have also gone back to places where I previously visited with someone else and had a completely new experience, building on the familiarity gained on the original visit. My solo travels where I purposely don't reach out for connections have fed my soul in yet another way. It is all the right way.
I am blessed to have so many that love me. I am blessed that I am not afraid to go it alone. I am blessed that I get to see, taste, hear, smell and walk this wonderful World. I am blessed that I can sleep wherever the night presents itself. I have visited my ancestors and communed with many Saints. I am blessed that because of all these blessings, I see the world with softer and more appreciative eyes.
My heart is full of joy.