The End

Paul picked up his things tonight. It was the most painful hour I've ever endured. I told him I wanted to reschedule for a week from now, have him really piss me off in the meantime, so I could be in a dumper mindset. I actually fingered $1 dishes Sunday that I thought I would buy so I could smash them to smithereens.

This wasn't a "break up" it was a break down. I really thought it would turn out OK - that he would see the travesty of it all - admit his undying love, pull me up on his white horse and we would ride off into the sunset while the movie credits started to roll.

I have no regrets. I have warm sunshiny memories. I don't have him nor do I even have the tiniest interest in sharing my heart or my bed with anyone but my fat yellow cats.

After he left, amid sobs I called my girlfriend. I told her I was owie. Unbeknownnst to me she was a mile away. A few minutes later I was able to regain some dignity, recall the happy times she was also a witness to and relax. Thank God for girlfriends and their Hallmark cards. A few minutes later another girlfriend called to check on me.

I'm so lucky. I've known the most exquisite love AND I have girlfriends!