Wax On - Wax Off

The wall is now as smooth as a baby's butt. I thought I would get it sanded and the blackboard painted this morning. No - just sanded and an attempt to undust my house. I was smart and wore a dust mask (left from climbing Mt. St. Helens).

Working on the wall - a few inches at a time, gives one time to think. I had finished a book this morning about the El Camino. Parts of the book I didn't understand or even totally like, but I got some great ideas of places seek out and see. At the end the author made a profound statement about the journey, which in a small way, applied to inch by inch working on the wall. Softening the dips, leveling the ridges and removing the blemishes that inexperience, frustration and fatigue put on. There was a life lesson there - just on a wall - in just a morning.

Last night I was on the phone with a friend for two hours - late even. I see her every day. She called to tell me a party that I had decided not to attend, the group had mentioned to some new comers that I was missing. The pertinence - I was included and therefore missed by peripheral group of friends. My friend also shared something that I had picked up on with her, but had failed to pursue. Another friend of ours wouldn't let it go. I felt sad that I had not persisted. But I also realized how sweet it was that she was now telling me and reaching out to me to be her strength. That is friendship - that is love - that is trust. It is saying that I don't have the strength - please carry me.

Twice this week, different friends have described themselves as existentialists. Yeah, I see that in them, sort of. I looked up the definition to study it a bit:

ex·is·ten·tial·ism (ĕg'zĭ-stĕn'sha-lĭzm) n.
A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

Yes, they are, and to some extent I am too. But what I am, which I think is why I am tied into all the friends I have right now (here comes the existentialism in me) is because I am the moderate Republican, the conservative Democrat, the Catholic existentialist, the goody-two-shoes bad girl, executive INFP, the rebel sister and Mother's clone, who refuses to stand still under any label or title. I love hard and hurt deeply.

I learned from the wall today that no matter how old the origins (think vintage polkadots on wallboard), anything (anyone) can change. It will require learning new things, a concerted effort, working an inch (day) at a time. In the evolution, the history (polkadots) and memories (all the fabulous comments from my friends) will remain. The appearance (perspective) and the purpose will also change. The result will be something new, fresh and functiontional. The lessons learned can be reused another day, in another situation - either here or passed on to another (as it was done for me).

Enough rambling. It is literally time to shake off the dust and get on with my day (fabulous and path filled life) and the Spiderman Party!