A Handle On It

I think I figured out why this weekend is so different.

For the last four months I've worried about Paul on the weekends. I think we only had one weekend together - the weekend after Valentines Day (which was fabulous and perfect). I didn't worry when he was in Wyoming, because I knew he was happy being with his kids. Most of the time though, I didn't know if he was here or there.

When I didn't know if he was in Wyo. I wondered if he was here or there or if I knew he was here, I was cranky because he didn't want to spend time with me or worried about him being sad and chosing to be alone.

I fretted a LOT in the last four months. That's what one does when they care. It wasn't a chore - it was what it was. But, this weekend and now those ahead, it isn't my job to think about whether he's happy or sad or here or there. Sometimes being fired from a job turns out to be OK.

Next weekend is THE WEDDING! And while I won't have a date (which I thought for once I would), I do have a fabulous is-that-a-pickle-in-your-pocket dress!