My Value System

I had lunch last week with a friend of mine. He too might be considered collateral damage in the ongoing soap opera saga.

He had some really great things to say about me and my "friendship" qualities. Trust. The ability to be an insider to many and hold secretst tight. There was more. He isn't the only one that has mentioned this before. I value what he shared. I mourn the loss of his general presence in our group and vowed not to be a passive participant nor facilitator of the derision and division going forward.

There has to be some balance and eradication of exclusion. It shouldn't be all or nothing. Relationships should not be expendable. Friendships should not be based on whether someone is core or considered an "appendage" of the one person or another.

We're grown ups - not junior highschoolers.

Friendships are supposed to be a safety net that you can fall into and never hit the ground. But, like a marriage, it requires integrity, honesty, trust and conscious decision making. An awareness of cause and effect, beyond self, particular to the "partner". And, as in marriage, poorly made choices, overlooked opportunities, erosion of foundations, etc., can lead to dissolution.

I have found, that people are now coming out of their caves to express their thoughts. Some are opinioned, some are neutral, some have shared some not so nice phrasing of the "girlfriend code".

I'm beginning to see that I "knew" a lot longer than I realized I knew, which was much sooner than I was informed. It doesn't matter any more - the when, the how, the who. I have listened more than I've spoken and I've learned much.

The thing that matters most is how I conduct myself, what thoughts I think, and how I hold myself accountable for my choices. I have many people that care about me, consistantly and compassionately. And these people deserve the very best of me - now and always.