Namaste 2014

• Thank you 2014 for giving me an open heart to be able to move to Florida.
• Thank you too for having my family (at least part of it) adventurous enough to join me.
• Thank you for prosperity.
• Thank you for the fella.
• Thank you for change - enough change that I'm willing to evaluate my present self and the curiosity to gracefully (mostly) peek around the corner at what might be possibilities even I didn't think of.
• Thank for a strong enough fella who lets me stretch my "I'm not married" muscles without too much fanfare.

I hate to leave you wonderful year - you've been good to me. But so was 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013. I can only hope that 2015 is a drop of what this year has been.

Namaste 2014 - I honour you.

Life's Paths

I've been unmarried for over 14 years. I don't think about it much and today's society doesn't either.

Now and again someone will ask if I'm lonely - no.

Sometimes in conversation, people offer up the moans and groans of their couple-hood. Do I feel glad I'm not engaged to have my own contributions - usually. Sometimes, I just think that their "socks on the floor" comments are air escaping and they are in generally in good company. And...I think they know that too. Do I actively desire a partnership - no.

There are times that I think a nice meal out with intimate lighting and pleasant conversation rather than a Kindle would be nice. But the Kindle has good lighting and so I am in decent company after all.

I know my flaws. I get easily bored with repetition. My job offers me the comfort of knowledge repetition with an ever-changing landscape of locales, schedules, configuration and project teams. Having the bulk of my close family and friends scattered across the country offers me familiar, but not routinely scheduled holidays. I'm not afraid to vacation on my own - even in a foreign country. My daughter who lives near me, seems to thrive on the same, dynamic living pattern as I do.

So the challenge becomes how to harness the freedom of mind and body to create and maintain a stable coupled relationship. Especially when a partner is seeking a normal rhythm of life - get up and converse, head to respective jobs, return home and create a meal, share the daily goings on, go to bed at a regular time as a pair, rinse and repeat.

I change shampoos regularly. I have not mastered the rinse and repeat. My mother did not master it. I am not even particularly enamored towards it.

Why do men find unfetteredness so attractive and then began a project to harness it?

Scarves

As I was folding scarves to place in my new dresser last night, I travelled abroad in my mind and took a walk down memory lane.

The blue one with the swallows. I bought it to remind me of the annual air dance the swallows did for me in  September outside of my flat window when I lived outside of London. They came early last year so I could see them before I left.

The newsprint one with the Union Jacks. My career and where my career took me. I bought that one at the train station in Windsor. Windsor is where I got my picture taken with the palace guard - a bucket list item for me.

The black and white one Pauline gave me for Christmas when we travelled on a walking holiday to Sicily. I walked on Mount Aetna on Christmas Eve whilst there. And I also saw the most beautiful Roman/Green ruins with the sea and shoreline behind in Taormina.

The periwinkle and butterfly one I bought at a street market in Florence as a head covering so I could enter the churches.

The brown and pink camouflage one from Lea. I don't usually do brown, but this one is beautiful and suits me.

Then there are the ones I wore all the time that I purchased on High Street, below my flat - the grey/pink one, the pastel plaid one, the salmon/blue one. The list is endless.

Another High Street favourite was the white one that I wore in the warmest of places and sometimes used it as first aid for overheated walkers. It certainly cooled me down and warmed me up more than once.

I have my black and white and red and black ones from one of the many street markets my daughter and I visited in London.

Summer ones to add colour to a t-shirt. Denser ones to hold the dampness at bay.

There's the turquoise, black and silver one from Hazel. My colours to be sure. Soft and shimmery.

Every time I wear these, I wrap myself in memories.

Football?

There's a football game tonight? Broncos v. Seahawks? What? Endless Summer has entered my brain. There's no way the hint of fall/winter has a place in my head or heart or body or whatever this  year. Palm trees for me please.

Reality Check

I still find it hard to believe that I can go on a bike ride, not be chased by a dog, grab a bite to eat, sit on the beach to eat it, while watching 75 surfers enjoy the waves from storm that passed by 100+ miles out, the night before any time I want.

Taxing

Florida does not have a State Tax. Tourism takes care of that for us.

There are occasional TAX FREE events. Two I've seen so far is a two week period where hurricane season preparedness items were tax free. And another was back to school where clothing and school related items were not taxed.

And in September, 2014, the cost of registering a car is going down. Yes, I said down.

Post Office in Paradise

I went to the Post Office today. They had people circulating to see if they could help with forms or asked if they could help ahead of time. And they were all smiling.

Driving me Peaceful

I'm grateful for the peace I feel driving to and from work.

The water is my comfort - always has been. Crossing water, heading towards water. Water, water, everywhere.

I feel valued at my job. The work is interesting. And having the office be located in Florida helps a lot.

We Be Friendly

We're a friendly bunch down here in these here parts.

I was stopped at a stoplight this morning and the car/man next to me points out what a nice day it is for a convertible. "Perfect" I respond. He goes on to say it will probably be too warm this afternoon to have it down. My convertible  has no A/C. It was purchased in the Pacific NW where if it was warm enough to need A/C, the weather was good enough to put the top down.

Happiness is a convertible in paradise.

Water Water Every Where

I'm grateful for the water I see every morning and evening during my commute. The river and the ocean views are so restorative.

Circling Hawks

Last night as I was leaving work there were five hawks circling overhead. I love how their wingtips spread out and how they seem to lazily float on the air. I'm thankful for living in a place that has so much wildlife, so close. (Even if it is a wee bit scary sometimes.)

Toadies

We have toads that live near us. One very recently just under the air conditioner. He, however, got squished on the road.

The last few days I've seen little baby toads, half the size of my pinky fingernail, hopping about. Last night, during the rain storm,  several were climbing up the porch screen and up the house across the way.

I don't know why, was tiny as they are, they would choose to climb up a multi-story building. Maybe for the thrill ride down the gutter and spout?

New baby toads!

Being Thankful

I am living and loving Florida. I see God's beautiful gifts every day. I'm going to use this space for awhile to list the beauty I encounter here in Florida. It's not just flora and fauna, it's people too. Join me on my pursuit to recognize all things beautiful.

2014

Wow - 2012 > 2013 > 2014. Time flies when you're living life.

I'm back in the States and on the move again. My lifelong wish (but not on the bucket list) of living in Florida is coming true. Stay tuned.

I've starting posting again in earnest the last few months. Well, at least in my head, the posting dialog has been running. It hasn't made it to my fingers and keyboard. Why?

Living alone in a foreign country affords you thinking time you can't get in the midst of a normal life. At "home" there are family and friends and habits, that lovingly or not so lovingly hold you hostage to your life. Call, assist, schedule, go, get, talk, call, text. All things that are necessary and even desired and desirable. But away and alone seems to pacify my need to journal. I seem to experience things at a deeper level that doesn't require me to "capture" it on paper or in bytes. My experience seem to linger within me. Perhaps because they aren't so jostled by today's normal existance?

Away from "home" you get the choice to be their you or your you. The inner dialog changes from an integrated one to a more personal one. Not knowing a horde of people and being geographically disengaged from the their you, gives you a chance to listen, grow and get to know your you.

I have made many made many friends, including myself, on this magical tour. For my whole life, I've pretty much had defining people in my life. Family, friends, loves, spouses, children. I still have all of them, but with a 5000 mile cushion. I like spending time with my new friends and I like spending time with me. I've been blessed with visitors and vists home. I have the best of all worlds right now. An extension that few will ever experience.

I have travelled extensively and have friends all over the world. Close friends. I seek them out. They seek me out. I sometimes allow myself to say "not today". I have found I enjoy travelling with others as much as I enjoy traveling alone. You see things differently with others than you do on your own. I have found that I enjoy watching someone explore a place I've already been as much as I enjoy returning. I have also gone back to places where I previously visited with someone else and had a completely new experience, building on the familiarity gained on the original visit.  My solo travels where I purposely don't reach out for connections have fed my soul in yet another way. It is all the right way.

I am blessed to have so many that love me. I am blessed that I am not afraid to go it alone. I am blessed that I get to see, taste, hear, smell and walk this wonderful World. I am blessed that I can sleep wherever the night presents itself. I have visited my ancestors and communed with many Saints. I am blessed that because of all these blessings, I see the world with softer and more appreciative eyes.

My heart is full of joy.

September, My Friend

Ahh, September, here you come around again. My window to the world. How I look forward to the gifts you have historically bestowed on me. What delights are in store this year?

Five years ago today I landed in France, ready to begin my Camino. I still think of it every day. I walked a part of it again a little over a year ago. Next year, my Daughter and Grandson will join me. Joy!

Year two of my visa was completed yesterday - today the third year begins. What a wonderful adventure I've had here in the UK. I thank the Lord every day for having been blessed with this opportunity.

And today is D's Birthday. I have celebrated this for 28 years. As ever, near or far, my wishes of happiness and good cheer go out. This year I'm doubly blessed.

Ahh the things ahead look fine indeed. The surprises I await.

I love you life! I love this date! It is my centre of gravity!

Another Month

Another month has passed. I don't know where time goes. Perhaps the six weeks I worked this last month is part of the sense of fleeting time. I'm still struggling with balancing work and and life and work and life and love. Fortunately love is patient and kind and it is working out.

Alien Princess

I realised this morning, after reflecting on my weekend, I'm in transition. It is difficult, whilst enjoying the spotlight of princessdom, to remember that when partnering, the focus is the partner. I've not been in the realm for a very long time. I didn't plan on entering it again for a goodly amount of time and least of not whilst here. Still slightly feel caught off guard, but realising the precious jewel of which I've been entrusted.

When Another's Desperation Is Your Agravation

My heart is grieving. Just from the sheer existence  of the comments I've heard lately.

My county, Essex, is having a rash of jumpers onto train tracks. The suicides are wreaking havoc with the schedules and people are angry at the disruptions to their commutes/travel plans.

Those people who died were so desperate they chose a painful and disheartening way to end their lives. Their families, friends and co-workers are left with more questions than answers and are grieving with every fibre of their being. People like me, who weren't  affected, other than by the stories, are hurting in their hearts.

Blessings to those who have felt so sad and worthless. Blessings to those who are left behind. And most of all blessings to those who need it the most, those with the hardened hearts.

When Extraordinary Is One's Ordinary

I noticed it's been ages since I last posted. It's hard to keep up, to find time to post. Life is moving at the speed of light, with extrordinary things continuing to happen week in and week out. I've not found a suitable way to journal it, electronically nor in print.

So, all's well on my small and exquisite island.

Kindly Pocket It Sir

What is it with guys and their "members"? In the last month, I have seen enough "parts" to write a book...OK just a blog.

1) On a conference call, in the conference room at work. Guy howling outside (apparently out of relief). Finally look out the window and a man is relieving himself on our dumpster. Missed the opportunity to bang on the window and let him wet himself. He was less than a block from a public toilet.

2) On couch heading to Lourdes. Pulled into a to pit stop and there's a guy, watering the grass. Back to road, but wide open space, proper loo about 50 feet away behind him. 41 people cheered him on.

3) Sitting at an outdoor restraunt two days ago. Two guys are on the bank of the river with their bottles of booze. Man stands behind rock, back to river, front to me. Thank goodness for the rock.

4) Walking in the countryside, not totally alone as I've met several others along the way. Walk up on a guy again. Not in the trees, just at the side of the path. Embarrassed him. And on second thought think he wasn't just doing a wee.

And there was the time I was hiking with my daughter's boyfriend and he decided to just stop and go. Hello....? Fortunately daughter did NOT think that was a wise move on his part. Can you say H-I-S-T-O-R-Y?

Grown men can wait. We ask little tots to do so. And if you must, because you do have the "gear" to allow an easy outdoor "exit", pop your butt out of the way. You're way more enamoured with it than I am.

And not to be sexist.....the "comedy" act "Busting Out"...dud to the nth degree. I really don't need to see tit tricks done by 50 year old women's exposed boobs on stage for two hours. Totally unimpressed.

Cheers!

Where Am I?

I was decending some castle steps today and thought " Wow! There were 3x (6x) as many twirling steps in this castle as the one I was in last week and this one was so much easier!" Oh yeah. Last week the 105 (one way) were in the Pyrenees. This week in Durham, it was 300+ each way. And then I thought "last week's castle" and then "this week's castle" (this week was the Cathedral tower and not a castle, but I did visit the castle too) and I truly had to laugh out loud. I'm not on an extended holiday, really. This is my life and I've made it a holiday. Every moment is precious. Every moment is a gift.

I didn't always have this outlook. Once I did the festivities began.

Love today, look forward to tomorrow. Be ready.

Greatness and Gratitude

This last week was a challenge of the best kind. Work was busy, all cylinders seemed to fire and the end of the week was a crescendo where the silence at the end contributed as much as he cacophony leading to it.

I was frantic that I wasn't getting to my home evening tasks. Work was eating away at my home time, like it so often did in the past. The feeling was familiar, but I didn't want it. I wanted a leisurely stroll in my preparation for leaving. Come Friday night it all came together. Work done, home tasks minimised and under control.

Friday evening I sat on the balcony, wine glass in hand, read a magazine and experienced the beautiful weather and departing sun. Then with a movie on the tube, plucked off taks.

Saturday, I, with all the mellowness of a glam girl, shopped for some clothes that fit and finished my errands. I ate an appetiser lunch of a fig, goat cheese and prosciutto appetiser and a pinot grigio. The tiny Italian restaurant had outdoor seating. Again, soaking in the beautiful spring day.

Because of the impending weather being rumoured to be so nice and then dipping slightly in planned temperatures, my packing was a bit of a tempest in a teapot frolic. Clothes for three seasons everywhere! Down to some Spring picks with a tiny winter backup (jumper, hat, gloves) and a dose of summer for those "own time" moments when I can escape the group and head out into the countryside.

Heading to Southend Victoria today. Beach and solitude. A great start to a pilgrimage. Probably dinner with my morning taxi partner, Joe. I'm anxious to meet him. He was one of the people selected to give a prayer at Westminster Cathedral  Mass with the Pope. Holiness by association!

I know this next week will challenge me. I'm so used to doing things on my own and not with a coach load of faithful and infirm. I will be sharing a room with a stranger. I've done this before, but not paired with someone for a whole trip. I have a timed itinerary - gulp. Also, lunch and dinner won't start until the last person shows up. I'm used to eathing when the tummy growls.  Thank GOD there will be some blocks of free time. I will be able to wander about the parts in my own way. My faith is quite private while this trip is all about the Hail Mary's (and I'm not talking American football). And the coach will have a toilet, we're asked not to use it, unless an emergency (hygiene reasons). I'm contented with a small patch of bushes, will you pull over please?

Above is not to complain. I know they will challenge my psyche. I want to be ready with grace humor, laughter,  and a helping hand and create prayerful and graceful week for myself and others. Isn't that what every pilgrimage and experience has done to me? Changed my reflection?

May the peace and joy of our Blessed Mother fill my heart and yours with joy, laughter and light.

I Do

I'm reading Ree Drummond's book: The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels--A Love Story. I've followed Ree's steamy love affair with her husband and her recipes for years. I can't put her book down. And I'm thinking, while reading it, "ooohhh to feel like that". And I woke up this morning and thought...."damn it woman, whatcha thinking? You have had it all and more!"

25 years ago today I was in Las Vegas. Eloping. Driving all night Friday after work to do "the deed" on Saturday. Our arrival coincided with Spring Break and the the motel we ended up staying in was at the far end of the strip....further down than the  famous Welcome to Las Vegas sign. The Klondike. (No that wasn't the peeky bubble pool hotel). No room at the proper inns for us. The proposal, coming out of the blue, the previous Tuesday evening went like this:

Future sister-in-law: So when are you guys getting married?
Me: Drop Jaw
Future husband: I don't know. You want to get married?
Me: Playing along. Sure. Why not?
Future husband: OK - how about Saturday?
Me: Playing along. Oh - OK.
Future husband: Really, let's get married Saturday.

And so it began.

Coming Home

I love (and appreciate) how when I come home from my work trips, I'm so happy to be home. Home being Brentwood. This is my home. I have a house in Utah, but for now, this is my home.When I travel to the U.S. it will be to Colorado and Utah and to visit my family, but it won't be to go home. Not now, not yet.

I arrived HOME from my work trip this week to many confirmations that this is HOME. Confirmations of my trips (yes, plural) to Italy later this year, my European health insurance card and the UK Census. Sounds pretty established, eh?

The funny thing is about my credit cards, my insurance cards, my bank cards, my visa, all carry the same end date. My "times up Teri" departure date from the UK. The date that this fantasy ends. I used to take comfort in that date, that if I hated being here or hated the job that I'm doing, that I had a target date for returning to "normalacy". Now that date is a deadline. A deadline of all the things I have to do, see, experience, eat and breathe in before I have to leave my fairy tale life in Great Britian.