Dangerous

It's dangerous having a hidey hole 1/3 of the way around the world. Weeks like this drive my head back to my new found solitary, healing, introspective days communing with nature. It's a good thing I'm not made of money because I surely would be on a jet and "outta here".

I keep taking deep breaths. Soon, I'm sure, has history has proven itself over and over, one breath in ten won't be for emotional survival, then two, then three. They will once again be taking in the world and finding beauty.

This week has been long. The beauty/pain of my brother's memorial service, the shock, sorrow and grace of Curtis' passing, this weekend of family, friends, release, and reality. Tomorrow I face another Monday, which for this one will be difficult being "a week ago today".

I'll look forward to a period again where not every moment is so crystally defined by fate. I will make a point to appreciate the blessed gift of filtered memories.

Based on the last two months being filled with major perspective-changing events, I need to now sit myself down and define what I want my future to resemble. What IS important singularly to me and more outwarly reaching, to those closest to me? What do I absolutely WANT to do, think would be cool, don't give a crap about anymore? What am I willing to let go of that I THOUGHT was important, but really at the end of the day, isn't. Who do I need to bring in closer and who do I need to let go of? How can I leave this world in a BETTER state than when I came into it? Yes, I'm waxing philosophical - but I believe that is the lesson I was ultimately supposed to take away from this week. Change in once again in the air.

Namaste